Running: The Ultimate Guilt Tripper

I hiked all last week. Did I lose weight? I doubt it since I balanced it out with trips to the coffee shop and a lot of chocolate. I admit I've been too ashamed to weigh myself this week.

I also hadn't run since last Tuesday. I figured it was time I put on my running shoes.

I have been using an App on my iPhone called Run Keeper

Run Keeper pretty much tracks your distance, time, route and even average pace per minute. Since I already use my phone as an iPod and listen to Pandora radio (mainly Club music radio) while I run it's pretty easy for me to turn on Run Keeper as well. It really helps me learn exactly how far some neighborhood roads are and plan my distances accordingly.

I recently joined a work out plan part of Run Keeper with different challenging running activities for a number of weeks. It's been really cool and it's nice not to have to wonder how far or long I should run that day since the App tells me what I should do everyday.

Tonight I ran my farthest distance in months. I ran 4 miles in 53 ish minutes. I think that's pretty good since I haven't run that far since before summer.

However the entire time I was running (and I ran the first two miles with one of my co-workers who even pushed me a little bit) I KNEW I wasn't trying hard enough. I KNEW that I could have gone faster, run farther, paced better... you name it. Yet I continued to stop and walk. I continued to slow down then speed up after I felt guilty for slowing down. I continued to yell at myself throughout the entire run. Yet I still didn't feel like I improved, and felt guilty throughout it all. Once I finished the run and checked my stats I could see where I could have tried harder.

But I didn't try harder. And THAT is my problem. I don't push myself hard enough. I comply with the bare minimum. It's a horrible habit. One that I need to break in order to get ahead in my running, my weight loss, my work, my life.

I have to push myself harder. I guess the reason why I'm so... cautious (at least in running) is because of my plantar fasciitis. This injury continues to haunt me and keep me back. "If I push too hard I'll hurt myself again." It's a fear I need to learn how to overcome.

I'm not sure how to do it. But for now I need to keep going. Don't stop. Keep my activities consistent if nothing else, and just Keep Going.

Keep going.
Keep going.

That's what I'll do.

What about you?

-w0rld