March Weigh In!

It's a new month! I can't believe February is over. I admit last month was one of the hardest to stay up and motivated. The weather, injuries, laziness, and everything else really put up a fight.

I'm trying to find my rhythm again. But for now we have results so here goes.

March Weigh In: 218.4 lbs (-1 lbs)

One pound. One measly pound is the result I had for the month of February. You may think that this is nothing. That I simply maintained and didn't try my hardest. For me it just means that I didn't give up despite struggling. That although I wasn't as active or diet conscious as I could have been I was still able to lose SOMETHING.

After spending over two years trying to lose weight and using this blog to help me I'm learning that it is not as easy as it first seemed. Just control your food in take and stay active. Calories in vs. calories out. That's it right? It isn't. 

In reality when I get to the technical parts of it yes, being more active and burning more calories than I consume is the formula. But learning what foods are better for me, learning how to not resort to food when I'm stressed or emotional, learning that just being active doesn't help when I don't mix it up or I don't enjoy the activity... all these facts are things I'm learning more and more as I continue my journey.
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I remember a blogger a while ago stated she wasn't the type of person that can just decide to stick to a program and steadily lose weight. That they were the type to yo-yo up and down and that they accepted that about themselves. I'm realizing more and more that I have a loooong way to go to reach my goal weight. Not because I CAN'T lose the weight but because I have a lot of other things I need to work on. Things like:

I need to work on my self-discipline when it comes to food.
I need to learn that food is going to be there later.
I need to learn about portion control and to choose what foods to eat and what foods to say no to.
With exercise I need to learn to commit to something that makes me happy. I can't force myself to do an activity I don't enjoy.
I need to learn to stop giving excuses in my life and simply just do it. It's a never ending inward struggle.
I need to learn to stop comparing myself to others. This is a BIG one. I currently live in a house of very active people. It's awesome but it also doesn't help because they have the ability to be more lenient with their food, eat the same amount of food I do and not have the same consequences. I can't act or eat like they do because my body is very different from theirs.

I realized I need to start spending more time giving my full attention to my food. Yesterday morning I made a great breakfast and spent time cooking it. After I actually sat down with pen and paper, looked through every nutrition fact and did the calorie counting by hand. It's easy to just go to a computer program and guesstimate kind of what I ate and substitute one thing for another because "it's the same shit right?" So I went in and added, subtracted, multiplied and divided until I got the most accurate account for my big breakfast. How much was it? It was 853 calories. That's right, 853 calories. I of course wasn't hungry until 3 or 4pm later that day but that number was amazing.

I just have to keep going. Just keep going. Work on getting better and make each day count. Waiting to do things "tomorrow" add up and before I know it I've lost a month here and 12 days there. That goes for this blog as well. I have so many ideas for entries for this blog but before I know it the week has passed and it's Monday again.

I refuse to give up! I deserve better than a gluttonous life!

At the same time I'm also guilty of waiting "until I lose the weight" to do things.
"I'll wear pretty clothes when I'll look nicer."
"I'll date when I'm not so hideous looking."
"I'll party when I can fit in to those pants." 
"I'll go on a big adventure when I'm better."
"I don't want them to see me until I'm lighter."
 By the rate of it I'll never live my life if I wait. I'll never gain confidence if my life depends on the scale or what I ate the day before. I'm soo tired of being afraid, of being self-conscious, of low self-esteem, of worrying about what others think or how I look next to others. I don't want to have my weight be a factor when I'm looking for a job or meeting someone new. I'm tired of feeling this way.

I want this journey to be fun. It's meant to be enlightening, challenging, and rewarding. I don't want to spend my time dreading or worrying or wondering if I'll ever make it. I'm trying to find my niche. I'm trying to find what works for me. This is a life change. It'll take time before I get it right. I'm willing to invest the time.

Are you?

I'll post again in a couple of days.

Happy March!

-w0rld

It's Time for..February Weigh In!

It is currently still dark outside. I woke up a minute ago and inhaled deeply knowing that today was the infamous Weigh In. So I climbed to the top of my closet-desk-thing, took down my scale, stripped down and stepped on.

Time to beat the weight like I beat this mtn peak this Monday!

Here are the results:

January 2012 Weigh In: 224.6
February 1st Weigh In: 219.4


That's a loss of 5.2 lbs in one month. Looking at that number I'm incredibly pleased but I know I also have to work harder. My 'slips' in calorie counts and my procrastination with strength training need to stop. I'm serious about training so that I can run/walk a marathon and enter a triathlon this year so I have to get cracking. I also finally re-cracked open my Paleo Diet book.

It's time to get more focused.

Thank you for all your wonderful support. Let's make this month the best yet!

love
-w0rld

2012 Weigh In and Plan

Hello Everyone! I hope everyone had a fantastic celebration ringing in the New Year. I had a nice time with my family. Now it's January 1st and it's time for celebrations to end and to get back to work.

I admit I've been almost completely off track this last week and a half. My few work outs here and there could not compensate for the amount of food (and the type of food) I have been consuming during the holidays. To add to that I've been completely idle, laying around the house, doing some spring cleaning, laying around some more. I've been feeling bloated and sick. So when I finally weighed myself early this morning the number on the scale didn't shock me that much (the evidence was in the mirror) but it didn't stop me from having a mini-break down and almost crying myself back to sleep as I intentionally hid back in to the covers.

Current Weight: 224.6 lbs ( +9.8 lbs in 12 days)

Binge eating doesn't begin to explain what I've been doing. But it never ceases to amaze me how I can gain such a large amount of weight in such little time. That means that I gained almost a pound a day. That's amazing. Horrible, yet truly amazing.

Well vacation and gluttony is over. In a couple of days I'm going to be heading back up the mountain and I already started my new plan and my new goals.

The Main Goal for the Year:

My main goal for this year (besides finally getting to goal weight and I'm not kidding this time) is being able to walk a marathon and (if possible) try a triathlon. That means training. That means commitment and signing up for races. That means getting on a bike (which I haven't done in years) and figuring that out again.

Well guess what I've already started! I signed up for a 5k! It's for the last weekend of January! Eeek! So I need to really start training more.

I started last week already. I probably ran 5k's every other day last week. I've been pretty slow. Since I hadn't really jogged since November I knew that was going to happen. I'm pretty confident that I'll be ok for this 5k.

From there I plan to save money and head back to Catalina Island this spring to finish the Trans Catalina trail. It's over 15 miles and it's pretty steep for most of it. So I'm also planning on hiking a ton to get prepared for the Trans Cat.

Now the main thing is food. It's always about the food. So I finally decided to buy The Paleo Diet book by Loren Cordain. I keep talking and mentioning that I want to work on my diet and Paleo has caught my attention for a long time now. Fortunately, thanks to a couple of wonderful people I've gotten more resources to learning about the diet and life changes.

To help me with my hiking I bought a local hiker guide book to get the most out of my wanderings:

and to keep me motivated I happily bought the awesome Sean Anderson's new book Transformation Road

I'm really excited about this book and hope to have a good read if not have a new inspirational tool.

I ordered all books to my address in the mountain and hopefully the books will be waiting for me when I get back to work.

Now how am I going to achieve all of this without burning out and giving up? Small steps and commitment.

The Small-yet-Big Goals

Looking back at my past successes it's always been the really small steps that have helped me out. Making small streaks and doing things where you go "a little farther" every day is what's helped me get this far. Discarding that is what's gotten me to re-gain.

So although I have these big plans I'm starting small. I'm going to focus on one thing at a time.

My first streak is going to be jogging/walking daily. I'm going to attempt to do that for a week.

Another streak is going to be finishing my 64 oz water bottle everyday. Whether I drink more water than that is fine but finishing that water bottle will be enough for now.

The last initial streak I'll try is eating less grains. If I can try to eat as little grains as possible for each meal for a week that will be enough for now.

A little goes a long way!

So that's it. I have high hopes for 2012. It all depends on how determined and disciplined I can be. This is it. I can do this! And I KNOW you can too.

Let's start the year off right.

love
-w0rld

CDCC Check In/October Weigh In

My first week of work and my third week of of the Xmas Dress Countdown Challenge is pretty much over and since it looks like I won't get a chance to check in tomorrow I'm checking in tonight.

Luckily today is the first day of October (can you believe it?!) and I weighed myself this morning.

Current Weight: 208.2 lbs (-3.6 lbs from last week and -5.2 lbs since the start of the challenge.)

I'm incredibly pleased at my loss since I haven't been eating the greatest but boy have I been active! I arrived at the Pathfinder Ranch Monday afternoon. Throughout the week I've been shadowing my fellow outdoor educators and on Tuesday and Wednesday I ended up going on hikes with the kids. On Thursday I did my own strength training, mainly stretches and core work, and attempted to rock climb for the first time (Yikes! I need to work on my flexibility and arm strength.) On Friday the entire school ended up going on a big hike to end their week at the Ranch. I got to carry a big bladder of water the whole time and stopped at points throughout the mountain to fill up peoples water bottles. Let's just say over all I've ended up exhausted on more than one night! LOL.

My favorite thing so far was this morning. After a crazy night last night I was able to wake up early enough this morning and went on my first jog in this area. It was sooo beautiful. This place is a ranch community with large acres, horses gorgeous looking cabins and running dogs. The place is surrounded by pine trees and since it rained last night the entire jog smelled like pine. Mmmm. It was bliss. However I didn't take my watch nor do I know how many miles the loop I did was so I'll find out the next time I hit the pavement.

One thing I have been doing FANTASTIC on is my water in take. Not only is hydration necessary, readily available but it is REQUIRED as part of the job. I absolutely love it! I've been able to drink over 64 oz of water a day easily if not more so. I remember reading how to know you're properly hydrated when your pee looks like water with a very light tint of yellow. Maybe this is TMI but let's just say I've been peeing nearly clear. LOL

I've also finally started reading my book. I realized that the reason it's been hard for me to get in to this book is mainly because, although I do think I need to live more and be more assertive in trying to do more for my life (i.e. going out trying to find a better job, going out to actually do the activities in my bucket list etc) in reality I'm pretty pleased with that part of my life right now and feel there are other things I should work on right now. In other words I have other priorities. I need to find a book on emotional eating and actually spend time reading it!

One thing I definitely need to work on is supporting my fellow challengers. I've been so busy adjusting to my new life I haven't had the time to sit, and comment on blogs although I have been reading your entries!

We're doing so great! Thank you all for your support!

I'll talk about my goals for this next week on Monday at my regular Weigh In.

Have a great rest of the weekend!

-w0rld

September Weigh In: A Xmas Challenge!

I checked the scale this morning now that it's officially September and here's August's damage:

Current Weight: 208.0 lbs

I gained at least 8 pounds in a month. Looking at my weight progress this entire year (2011) it's obvious I've been trying to keep my weight at bay in the early 200's and trying desperately to keep within the ONEderland mark the entire summer. It feels like I've been trying to hold a wave (of weight) back with my bare hands and that I finally slipped last month and allowed some weight to pass my arm-wall of steel!

That's how I picture it anyway. It's time to rebuild the wall (maybe get some solid support if you catch my meaning) and mop up and throw out this uninvited weight again. How long will that take? I'm not sure. But there is no time like the present to start.

But honestly, can we say "Yo-Yo dieter"? I mean this year is almost over and I haven't been able to get much progress at all compared to last year. I know I shouldn't compare but it's hard when I did so well last year and I've spent all of this year in this crazy plateau. It's brought a lot of things in perspective and it's opened my eyes to the type of habits I have, things I know I should change and how hard it's been to change them.
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To help me with the rest of the year I have signed up (and been picked for WOO!) a Xmas Challenge!

The lovely Princess Dieter has created a new challenge for the winter called the Christmas Dress Countdown Challenge 2011 where with certain rules and determination us challengers will do our hardest to lose enough weight to fit in to a smaller sized 'Xmas dress' by Holiday season.

In order to do that we have to have a set caloric range, commit to an activity 30 minutes a day, have a book(s) to study that help us on our journey, pick a dress, take a picture with it before and after, and most of all NOT GIVE UP. All in a 14 week time period.

Sounds exactly what I need and very close to my own goals already. Having other people to work with and compete with sounds awesome! As I've mentioned before I usually go at things alone but I think it's time to change that and see if a group dynamic might help me better this time.

I'm very excited! I have already started my research for books (hence the reason I was looking at magazines that inspired my last post ) and have already bought the dress I wanted!

The challenge officially starts Sept. 11 and I'm on my way to getting ready for it. One thing I need to try again is a paleo diet. I KNOW it would be a fantastic fit for what I need, but it's also VERY challenging for me because dairy and grains are/were such a huge part of my life/diet. But because of that it's also the reason why I really need to try this out. I tried earlier this summer and failed miserably. I restricted myself too quickly and all hell broke loose. I ended up binge eating worse than I have in a long time; which is evident in my weight gain. I need to try again. I need to try it slower and read up on this lifestyle a little more before I take a blind plunge again.

I have people expecting me to take this seriously. I won't let them or myself down. I've never been one to break my promises (or feel ok with letting people down if I do fail). I can do this.

I'll make a separate post with all the required information for the challenge and post it soon.

Good luck on your journey. May your map be smoother than mine has been. If it isn't may your support system help you in those pesky obstacles.

-w0rld

Hiking it Off/July Weigh In!

It's July 1st! That means it's time to update my monthly weigh in. It's funny actually. This morning I automatically grabbed my scale (although it's not Monday) and weighed myself. Only after I weighed myself did I realize it was July 1st and I was SUPPOSED to weigh myself. Good deal.

So here it is:

Current Weight: 199.4 lbs (I actually gained a little since Monday and lost nothing since June, but with the craziness that's been going I should just be happy I haven't gained anything.)

Sure I wasn't too happy to see that my weight hasn't moved in a month. I'm also not happy that I'm mid way through the summer and instead of being closer to my goal weight I've been fighting to stay inside ONEderland.

But it's ok. I will keep fighting. I will keep moving forward. I WILL do it!

Funny enough today was also the day that one of my co-workers and I finally moved to the other side of the island to officially start work. I've been in Catalina for almost two weeks and have spent it all training. It really didn't have to last this long but we were delayed because we had to wait for a vehicle AND gather extra materials we needed. We have both now and so off we went.

I'll be spending half my time here on the western side of the island as I will on the main/eastern side-- the town of Avalon.

To commemorate our move to Two Harbors (the name of the tiny town on the western side) my co-worker and I went on a hike that a local/returning tourist recommended to us.

The hike was completely uphill and pretty steep in some places. But we did it and boy was the view worth it when we got to the top.

The west side of the island. Absolutely beautiful isn't it?

The guy who recommended the hike to us told us that people had the tradition of using extra wire to write their names on the wire fence and told us to go up there and find his. We did. At the very end and highest point of the hill:

Guess what the guys name was. LOL. He told us that a "W" sign meant "no work". Rob was celebrating his retirement by hiking a giant hill and writing his name with wire on the top of the hill. LOL

It was a great hike and we actually met a Texan who also made it up the hill. We chatted him up and practiced our new island naturalist knowledge on him. I loved his accent. LOL

Even though the weigh in wasn't what I wanted it's been a good day. A good start of work and a good start to the month.

Now let's keep this progress going! .. At least my pants feel baggy! That's got to count for something!

love
-w0rld