Waking up and feeling... bleh

Have you ever had that feeling where you wake up and you feel... just not right? Where you wake up and you KNOW your body doesn't feel well or rested, or fit and you KNOW it's because you didn't get a chance to exercise well the day before, or you ate that extra brownie when you shouldn't have?

Now have you ever gotten that feeling when you wake up where you do feel refreshed? When you know you've been keeping up with good food choices and you just feel.. fit and healthy?

Yeah I miss that refreshed feeling. It's the best way of me measuring my fitness and my habits. When I wake up in the morning and I feel stiff and heavy I know I did bad choices the day before. If I wake up and I feel good and healthy I know I did well the day before.

I'm hoping that my days this month start with the healthy-happy mornings. Lately I've been feeling stiff and out of it. I want to return to fitness... and yet I just finished eating that last piece of chocolate. I need to work on my priorities and my motivation. It's lacking again and it's getting harder and harder to keep going.

That's all I hope for right now. Motivation and a healthy feeling. Is that too much to ask?

-w0rld

The month of November

The month of November has been crazy and flew by. One second I was about to do my third 5k. It came and went and now December is here.

Many things have happened and at the same time not much has changed.

I finished my 5k with my best time yet. I finished it in 34minutes and 28 seconds. My last 5k was in 34 minutes and 50 seconds. I was able to shave off almost half a minute. Now that may not be a big difference but considering I hadn't been running as religiously as I was the year before and having a stupid injury that still occasionally bothers me, running a little faster is a GREAT accomplishment.

After that I've been hiking! More pictures of that to come soon.

Have I lost any weight?

I checked on Monday and I am in my dreaded plateau of
Current Weight: 214.0 lbs

This is actually good news because I had been keeping the scale at 216/218 and this slightly smaller number is a welcome change.

Let's hope I can keep the numbers low for December.

Happy Holidays and hopefully more consistent updates from me.

love
-w0rld

Running a 5k tomorrow!

Even though I had been thinking about it and I don't really feel ready for it I decided to register for a 5k, the very same 5k that I ran for my very first time last year.

Running my first 5k last year.

It was the race I ran before I injured my foot and stopped running. Before I regained 10 lbs. Before I decided that eating a ton of chocolate the entire month prior was a good idea.

Why did I want to run a race I don't feel ready for? Because I'm scared. Because I've been taking it easy and I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can run as well as I could earlier this year, or last year.

But I want to prove to myself that I can still run. That although I've been in this long, looong plateau that I can still accomplish something. That I can still go out for a goal and reach it.

I really feel like I've slowly been losing my grasp and control of my weight loss. I've been scared and lazy and I worry that I won't be able to lose weight again. I've been sabotaging myself as well, which makes me wonder what it is I'm really worried about and why do I keep eating.

Is it motivation I'm lacking? Dedication? Consistency?

Apparently I haven't lost it completely because I still have the drive to sign up for a race and do it tomorrow.
Thankfully I won't be alone! There are 6 of us running this race. There were 5 of us last year.

I guess I'm hoping that running this race will re-kindle my drive to continue my weight loss regime. I need something to jump start me again.

I'm nervous. I'm curious to see what my timing will be this time. I'm excited to be running with others. My initial goal for this year was to run a half marathon by now. Things have changed but I wanted to at least not completely give up on racing.

Nervous yet excited

I'll have full updates on the results of race day later this weekend.

Hope everyone had a fun Halloween!
-w0rld

I love where I live

I went out this morning telling myself I'm going to go for  a short run. It didn't really end up happening. I ended up walk/jogging which is fine. I at least got out there. But the thing that kept distracting me was the gorgeous weather.

The day is bright. The sky is clear. The breeze is cool and playful. At some point I turned and I could see the mountains covered with granite and pine trees. In the foreground are the beautiful Cottonwood trees dancing their yellowing leaves and making it seem like they twinkle. And in front of that was picket white fencing and the light smell of horses in the air.

I had to stop and take it in. "I LIVE here. I can't believe it." I took a big breath and took it in one more time before I kept going. I love where I live.

I live here.

This SO beats a gym.

Love
-w0rld

Walk it Off

I am not having a good week. Family drama, finance issues, health worries... all of these have been adding up this week and I've been taking it out on the bag of fun sized Snickers one of my co-workers bought last weekend. I knew those Snickers weren't helping.

On Tuesday I ran the farthest I've run in months and tonight being my other night off I needed to run again.

I jog/walked the two mile loop surrounding the camp.
I finished in around 27 minutes.
I started walking to cool off.
I kept walking.
I walk/jogged the two mile loop again.
I kept walking.
I walked/power walked the two mile loop a third time.

By the third time around I had cooled off enough to realize it was almost 9pm and it was COLD outside. My back started aching and my foot started acting up. I figured it was about time I stopped.

Each time I finished the loop I knew that I wasn't done, so I kept going.
Why did I keep going? 
With all the stress I've been accumulating it's no wonder that I suddenly upped the distance in my jogging. I haven't gotten faster but these runs haven't been about speed. They've been about stress relief and over all fitness.

I just want to feel better. When I feel overwhelmed, upset, tired, sad to the point of tears, and I know food is only going to make it worse I vote for walking.

I LOVE walking. Not jogging. Not running. Walking. It used to be my job. To walk a grid back and forth for miles. I loved it. I love it still. It gives me that sense of peace and reflection I can't get just sitting around pondering what I'm going to do next.

Other things that keep me busy are cleaning my room, drawing, and writing things down. But nothing clears my mind as well as a long walk.

I kept walking until my mind cleared. After my mind cleared I kept walking until I changed my attitude. By the end of the third loop (despite the cold and a couple of aches) I sprinted with a giant smile on my face and did a little dance at the finish. That's when I KNEW I was done.

When I returned to my room and looked in the mirror I noticed how my skin looked clearer. I love it when exercise helps my skin look better. LOL.

I hope this weekend makes things better. In the meantime my feet are still working, my running shoes are intact, the road is still there and the stars are out. I'll see you out there.

Love
-w0rld

Running: The Ultimate Guilt Tripper

I hiked all last week. Did I lose weight? I doubt it since I balanced it out with trips to the coffee shop and a lot of chocolate. I admit I've been too ashamed to weigh myself this week.

I also hadn't run since last Tuesday. I figured it was time I put on my running shoes.

I have been using an App on my iPhone called Run Keeper

Run Keeper pretty much tracks your distance, time, route and even average pace per minute. Since I already use my phone as an iPod and listen to Pandora radio (mainly Club music radio) while I run it's pretty easy for me to turn on Run Keeper as well. It really helps me learn exactly how far some neighborhood roads are and plan my distances accordingly.

I recently joined a work out plan part of Run Keeper with different challenging running activities for a number of weeks. It's been really cool and it's nice not to have to wonder how far or long I should run that day since the App tells me what I should do everyday.

Tonight I ran my farthest distance in months. I ran 4 miles in 53 ish minutes. I think that's pretty good since I haven't run that far since before summer.

However the entire time I was running (and I ran the first two miles with one of my co-workers who even pushed me a little bit) I KNEW I wasn't trying hard enough. I KNEW that I could have gone faster, run farther, paced better... you name it. Yet I continued to stop and walk. I continued to slow down then speed up after I felt guilty for slowing down. I continued to yell at myself throughout the entire run. Yet I still didn't feel like I improved, and felt guilty throughout it all. Once I finished the run and checked my stats I could see where I could have tried harder.

But I didn't try harder. And THAT is my problem. I don't push myself hard enough. I comply with the bare minimum. It's a horrible habit. One that I need to break in order to get ahead in my running, my weight loss, my work, my life.

I have to push myself harder. I guess the reason why I'm so... cautious (at least in running) is because of my plantar fasciitis. This injury continues to haunt me and keep me back. "If I push too hard I'll hurt myself again." It's a fear I need to learn how to overcome.

I'm not sure how to do it. But for now I need to keep going. Don't stop. Keep my activities consistent if nothing else, and just Keep Going.

Keep going.
Keep going.

That's what I'll do.

What about you?

-w0rld

Hiking Adventures in the Mountain

I've been AWOL again but in reality it wasn't because I was too busy to blog or that I was off the wagon. I've been keeping busy and being conscious of my weight loss effort. However I haven't really seen many results and in reality I was bored of not having much to talk about that I just DIDN'T update anything.

Now I know that in reality I shouldn't get lazy with this blog because I know that besides the number on the scale this blog has helped me stay accountable for my actions, has helped me get motivated and motivate others and it really is a good log to see my patterns and remember where I've been and how far I've come (not to mention how much farther I have to go).

So here I am. With an update too!

I had this week off from work and I decided to stay local and hike my area since I haven't been able to do much hiking since I started working on the mountain a YEAR ago.

So here are a few highlight pictures of my last three hikes. I went for a 6 mile hike on Tuesday. A 13 mile hike yesterday and a measly 2 mile hike today that was cut short due to weather.

Off in the distance of my 6 mile hike is Suicide Rock.

I get to travel through a bed of beautiful ferns

My food reward for hiking? Beef Jerky!

I <3 hiking="hiking" td="td">

The second day I go up the Friendship Trail near the Ranch

Heading out!

My view from the Pacific Crest Trail. Perfect.

Resting my feet by the Spring half way through my 13 mile trek. 

Last day of hiking I decide to an easy trail called the Ernie Maxwell Trail

Sadly that hike got cut short due to snow!

As I literally run back to my car, soaked and cold I stop and take a pic of this quickly filling creek. Awesome.

These last three days have been rejuvenating and has reminded me that I can do a lot more than I think I can. It's reminded me how much I LOVE hiking and has shown me how much my area has to offer. God I love the woods.

That is all for now.

Happy Hiking!

love
-w0rld