Back from the East Coast!/ Weigh In

It's been a while since I've updated this thing. I can't say I regret it too much though because after my job in Virginia ended I started a whole new adventure, that didn't make me any less tired but it was definitely interesting.

After Virginia I took a trip to DC,  took a bus to Pennsylvania to work for a week and a half

 and then I took the train to Chicago where my actual "vacation" began. LOL. The Chicago trip was a huge 

ugly orange dress outside the Chicago planetarium

relief to have since I hadn't really stopped to take a breath since before I first flew to Virginia at the beginning of June. I even went out of my way to buy a dress, a complete change in wardrobe from my t-shirts and capri pants I had been sporting all summer. I wanted to get something that was completely "not me". So I found what I like to call my "ugly orange dress". The color is horrendous and not something I would usually wear. But I loved it for the same reasons. It somehow made me feel good about myself and I used it as a statement that I'm on the road to change. Change my body, change my mentality of who I am and what I can do. I can be a girl. I can wear pastel orange. I can look at myself in the mirror and decide to like what I see. It was a great day, my ugly-orange-dress day.LOL

crossing the Mississippi river

After Chicago I took the train back west. I got to experience my second (and much longer) Amtrak train ride. I got to cross the Mississippi river and check out the changing scenery from the mid-west to the south west U.S. I was surprised at how much I enjoy looking at New Mexico. LOL

And although I was busy. Although I was trying new things, working with new people, dealing with my lack of energy to be social, my culture shock and my gratitude toward the people I met and hung out with; besides all of that I was always conscious of my food indulgence and my activity level. Now was I "on plan" the whole time? NO. But I made a point to continue calorie counting for as long as I could, and I continued to try my best to do at least some sort of calisthenics or cardio most days.  I also finally got a chance to really try out my pilates videos on my days off in Pennsylvania and found out that I really like them. The stretches, work out and breathing exercises really leave me feeling good and relaxed. It's like a form of meditation. I need to remind myself to do it more often.

I've been home for 4 days now. I vegged out and enjoyed being home. I caught up on TrueBlood with my sister (LOL). And I admit I started eating things I shouldn't. But three days is enough and it's time to start working again and not get lazy. I know it usually gets hard for me to stay active when I'm home. The environment in the house is that of "relax, watch tv and eat when you feel like it" which can be nice and HORRIBLE all at the same time.

To stay away from that I finally brought out my scale and weighed myself. I was scared. I had been on and off the wagon all summer. I wasn't sure what to expect but I figured I'd at least maintained. I didn't feel any bigger any way. Here are the results:

Current Weight: 216.4 lbs


I checked it twice and even got my mothers Wii Fit to check my fitness level. I currently weigh 216 lbs. I am so EXCITED! My goal for this summer in the east coast was to lose 5 lbs from when I saw that I was 220 lbs again. I wanted to weigh 215 by Chicago. I think I reached my goal.

This is just more motivation to keep going. I return to work at the end of August. I want to lose 2-4 lbs by that time. I want to AT LEAST weigh 215 by my birthday in a couple of weeks. I think I can lose one pound in two weeks. Don't you think?

I'm keeping these numbers small and realistic because I don't want to set myself up for failure. My main goal is to go back down to the 200 lbs mark by the end of the year. I want to be back in ONEderland by the start of the New Year. I honestly think I can do it. I just have to take it one day at a time.

Big smiles!

My heart is light and my mind is positive. I had started the summer with a negative self image and anger, anger, anger. At this moment I feel hopeful and positive. The way it should be. I don't hate the person I see in the mirror. I actually see an (dare I say it) attractive woman with a big smile and a future. I hope I'm right.

I hope everyone's summers have been going great and to plan. I will NEVER give up. I'm still fighting. And I CAN make it.

You can too.

love
-w0rld

Complete exhaustion

My job in Virginia is about to end. I. am. exhausted. Although this job was short it had everything: Stress, adventure, memories, passive aggressiveness, getting lost, great food, good pictures, staying up till 2 a.m. working, tears, blood, souvenirs, money troubles.... I mean you name it.

I'm tired. I'm done. I need a break. I've made mistakes. I've had successes. I want sleep. I want to be able to feel happy. Not in a rush. Not have to worry. I just want to be able to sit back, relax and not have to worry about what time I have to wake up, what I have to bring and who I have to pay today.

I need a break. A break before my next adventure. Is that too much to ask?

Please, please, please, pu-lease... with a cherry on top?

bleh...

Now back to work! My last day is today and I have to finish everything before night fall.

Good luck me!

-w0rld