On a Journey to Wellness

Come with me on my journey to losing weight, getting healthy and going out to meet the world head-on!

Monday, March 29, 2010

A Quick Word from the Field!

So it's been over a week or so since I left home and started working in the desert again. I was pretty excited to head back to the field and despite a lil awkwardness seeing unwanted faces I've been having a FANTASTIC TIME!!

I was camping out with Fish and Game people for most of the week since I was working seperately from the rest of the regular Mills College group and I averaged that I was hiking atleast 6-7 miles a day for five days.. and atleast 3 miles for 3 more days.. The most was I think 9 miles in one day and boy did my legs feel it~~ lol

It was awesome working with veteran Fish and Game people whose careers are to go out to Back Country and live in the land while providing the state information on their land and preserving the animal life in the area (Bio rocks!!) and learning how to eat healthy and deliciously while living out of a tent and a camp stove.

It's pretty amazing...

Too bad that I was personally eating ramen noodles and pb&j sandwiches since that was all I could afford.. but let me tell you a couple of great things about working out with a small eco-conscious and healthy crew:

Number 1: They're friendly and like to feed you.
Number 2: They like it when you show interest in what they're doing.. whether it's using a GPS hand unit to how to smoke salmon
Number 3: They inspire you to get healthier and you don't feel like shit for trying.

Yup! I gained a lot of info.. and let me tell you one more thing that helps a ton for people who want to get in shape but are super lazy like me..

Being in the field you have no choice but to walk your ass off and eat what you have but:
Because you're working your butt off the food you DO have taste fantastic!! I remember salivating over a warmed up can of Progresso vegetable soup when before I'd turn my nose to it... and prunes taste sooo yummy.

Aaaaannnd if you only pack healthy stufff then you HAVE to eat healthy regardless.. of course you don't feel guilty scarfing a burger when you get back to civilization but hey! I deserved it!

So because I'm not home I can't post pics yet.. and since I'm in a public computer I can't take up any more time reminiscing.. but I'll try to update as soon as I can..

I'm going to be looking for a 24 around here and I'll try to weigh myself as soon as I get near an available scale!

Wish me luck!!


Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Why Chocolate? Why do you hate me so??

So it's St. Patricks Day and I spent the whole day inside my house cleaning, cooking, scrubing, sweeping, walking dogs and teasing cats.. getting ready for family from MX to come over today at a non-determined time.

Everyone else was out, first to school and work.. then to after school and more work. I was fine and all that since I'm a natural hermit until my grandmother called my mom and I found out she was at my aunts house having fun chit chatting with my aunt and one of our old neighbors, my brother and his girlfriend were out with friends, my sister was playing in the park with her friends and our cousins and my dad was in LA. ...

It was then that I realized that I was stuck inside the house all day waiting for someone elses visitors stuck with my grandmother who makes me have major anxiety attacks and break downs (literally, I'm seriously not kidding) when I'm in close proximity with her for a long period of time.. and everyone else was out having fun on a holiday.

It pissed me off quite frankly. So once I realized it was getting close to 8pm and no one was home yet I decided to leave.

F*ck this. I got up. Put on some shoes and a smile, counted my random change, decided I had enough money for a latte'... got my car keys and left.

I went to my only haven in suburbia.. Borders. Ordered a mocha-dark chocolate/white chocolate frappacino with a lil whip cream and white chocolate shavings... grabbed the copy of the first Dexter book from my fave cable series

oh Dexter.. I miss you.. come back for season 5 already!

sat in a lounge chair and started reading chapter 1. Slurping up the sugary drink and even taking the time to use the straw to spoon up the lil white chocolate shavings that sank down.

I knew I shouldn't have gotten that latte' frap thing but I didn't care. I was 'being a rebel' and "getting out of the house dammit!" but of course stupid decisions always come back to bite you in the ass and almost an hour later I was feeling dizzy and I was getting an over all headache.

"Shit, shit, shit.. damn that was fast. Not even a couple of hours.. less than one hour and I'm already feeling shitty. God. I can't concentrate on this book anymore. Sigh. Time to go home. Stupid sugar rush."

I already knew that sugar had the diabetic effects on me (and no I'm not a diabetic.. yet. But I'm definitely in the pre-diabetes stage) but I didn't really think sugar when I thought chocolate.

I love chocolate. I'm borderline a chocolaholic but I haven't gotten that far yet.. it made me sad that chocolate did that to me. I felt betrayed quite frankly.

Damn chocolate.

You! *shakes fist* lol it was actually a Seattle's Best Coffee drink but isn't Starbucks from Seattle too? I'm starting to think all coffee shops originate from Washington.

It's quite sad but I guess it also has to do with the whole "no juice" thing I've been doing. I guess my body wasn't ready for the sugar over load.. I guess I should have started with apple juice *rubs temples*

In the end I came home and drank some water. Yes just like when you go drinking. It's died down now and I feel better.

So, lesson to be learned? Stay away from sugary drinks at coffee shops and stick with teas. Better yet bring your own mug and if you can your own tea bags and just ask for hot water. *nods*

To chocolate. My best friend and worst enemy.


Monday, March 15, 2010

Weigh In

Current Weight: 247 lbs (this is using the house scale so we'll see but I admit I was terrified at looking at the scale since I had done so horribly in keeping my regimen together these last couple of weeks.. you heard me WEEKS not DAYS)

Work Our Achievement(s): This should be more like "Lack" of work out achievements. I was feeling incredibly guilty this last week because I continuously either 'forgot' or 'didn't have time' to go to the gym most of last week. I 0nly went maybe twice last week and that's a lot. At the same time I started going back to my old eating habits as well and I'll tell you right now, filling your self up to the brim is NOT a good feeling. I felt like shit after I ate and again guilty. I don't like it. I did manage to go almost at midnight one day simply to say I went to the gym. I worked on cardio mainly and almost killed myself at the end since I was tired, sleepy and attempting to do a quick 5mph sprint on the treadmill. Remind myself to think before I do something stupid like that again. Thank you.

But to be fair I wasn't completely immobile last week. I took my dogs Lucky (the Dalmation) and Hunter (the cocker spaniel) , and the friendly neighborhood german shepard "Princess" who decided to tag along, for a quick walk to the post office one day. I spent most of that walk preventing my dalmation from killing the G.S. and yelling at the G.S. to "get off the road!", "come here!" and "Lucky leave Princess alone!", "Hunter! hurry up and stop marking that post!", as well as the regular "Stop." and "Ok Go! let's cross the street!" ...oh it was an eventful little walk I tell ya! Gotta love your dogs.

Then there was the day I walked to work. It wasn't a far walk but it was a nice one to have. My car was being checked out so I didn't have much of a choice and I liked that. No time to come up with excuses on NOT to do something. lol

Then there's always a little bit of yard work and dancing like crazy for a few minutes in your room.. but anyway..

In the end not completely a waste but not near as good as it should have been if I had kept up a regular routine.

Besides that I went to a "Depression Overview" class with Kaiser Permanente. Now I know this is a little odd to say but I really wanted to go to this class. I had actually missed the last class (thought it was on the wrong day totally bummed when I realized my mistake) so I was actually excited to go to a depression class. (I know..)

Once I was getting close to my exit I started to have second thoughts like "Gosh is it going to be a room full of super sad or emo people? I just want to know more and see if I should get diagnosed or not.. shit maybe this is a mistake."

Oh no! What should I do??

I also thought I was late so when I got to the classroom there were only two people in there. A big guy with shaggy hair, a big 44 oz AM-PM bottle of coke and heavy glasses, and a tall skinny, skinny girl that looked like she was from the Bay Area.. fancy scarf, cool jacket, short hair and a skull cap and everything. I decided to sit in front of the tall girl and across from the shaggy 44 oz Coke man (which was also the front) since there was no one else in the room and it seemed wrong to sit in the back with so many seats available.

Eventually a short lady 'mother-of-2' came in and soon after the doctor in charge of the group, and the class began. I thought we were a nicely diverse little group and the doctor seemed happy to have us, telling us from the very beginning that Education on Depression is half the battle in getting better and that because of the various symptoms and etc that's exactly what most people DON'T do (seek help and info) so I felt pretty good.

Two hours later I was feeling pretty happy about going to the class. I left with a booklet of information. A new knowledge on anti-depressant pills, how there are different kinds of depression, how somethings seem like depression yet aren't and over all with a new picture in my head and a desire to get diagnosed and look up the psych dept. (yeah I said it).

I reminded myself that wellness is more than just diet and exercise and this was something I really needed to work on. There was a small section on self help too and that's what I really needed since at the moment whether or not I want to go to a professional, my wallet is thin and my time in the area is short (I leave for the desert in 5 days Eeeek!). I told the doctor this too after the class ended because he was encouraging us to go to his Depression class series and I was incredibly tempted (not to mention the classes are free of charge) but I told him how I'm going to be out of town for a few months and he told me that he does those classes every few months and that they would be there when I got back. I smiled at that.

I don't feel shame in wanting to feel better. I don't feel shame in wanting/needing encouragement and hope of any kind and I don't feel shame in writing about this because 'I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired' and I need a change. This was healthy for me. I liked it.

Goal(s): Well despite all the crazy things that were going on I was still keeping up with my whole "no juice" plan and I've been drinking water like crazy. I even brought my handy water bottle (the one I keep in my car and take with me to work, to the gym and as I drive) home.. all I need now is to have it with me in my bedside table and I'm set. LOL
I'm going to try to go hiking at least once this week before I head out to the desert. I'm packing right now and have my hiking backpack and my duffel bag 2/3 full already. (I was super tempted to bring my "Entire works of Shakespeare" GIANT book but I thought that two novels, 4 field guides and a book on the Deserts of the West would be enough for me to carry so I refrained from it. lol)

My job just finished (I've been working as a tutor for low income families since October and I just finished with my last kid yesterday) so I have the whole week free so I have no excuse to NOT go to the gym.

It's time to shake off this idleness I've been going through. It's time to get loose and nimble and ready for action. You know how the Gone in 60 Seconds crew used LowRider to get loose and ready for the job?

Yeah.. well I do the same thing except my song is just a teeeeny bit different:

Just imagine me closing my eyes to this and rolling back my shoulders, cracking my knuckles and getting ready to roll.. that's me.

*Nods* yes. I need my techno mixes.

Have a great week everyone! And wish me luck to continue going well on my journey.


Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Weigh In--pass

I'm passing on my weekly Weigh In this week.

I've been a little stressed out (nothing compared to my senior year days but..) and I admit right now I haven't been a "good girl" when it comes to diet and exercise.

I will report that I did go back and get my BMI checked again. Again microscopic change. The training manager told me that I should be losing 1-2% every month if I do it right. I've only been losing decimals of a percentage.

He says I'm plateauing. I say he's probably right.. and I add a "well, damn~" to it too. I can't get too upset over this. I just really have to sit down and get my act together.

Other than that I tried going to a different Zumba class on Tuesdays (I usually go Wed. mornings) and I admit I really enjoyed it. This teacher takes the time to make sure we're doing each step correctly and why it's important to do so. There's also less than 20 people in this class so I got to be in the front which felt fantastic if I do say so myself. :)

I'm getting ready for the desert. Which means getting my outdoor survival supplies in check. I hope I have everything to survive in the "wild" LOL. Especially when there's a fast food restaurant less than 20 miles away. LOL LOL LOL.

My little sister bought me a Lady Gaga cd~

I admit I love Lady Gaga. Don't hate! She's fab!

and I found myself dreaming up steps to some of the songs. Maybe one day I'll finally come up with a YouTube channel of me showing off cool moves. Hey! I can dream can't I??

Yes I can. LOL

good luck this week! Let's show March what it's all about!


Thursday, March 4, 2010

How can Glee Inspire Me?

Quick post:

I finally decided to get my ass up and go visit my cousin who is finishing her senior year in UC Santa Barbara.

Prestigious and Beautiful Santa Barbara, the only American town that's made the Spanish look look glossy~ LOL
Sadly because of my freak schedule (where I'm idle throughout the week and work weekends at the most inconvenient hours) I could only visit her during the week while she's busy as hell being a student, running organizations, being popular with friends (friends?? what's that?) and an over all busy bee, I found myself being introduced to "Glee" to keep me happily occupied.

The story is about this high school in Ohio where a cute teacher inspires the students to be part of the Glee club; which is a singing-dancing, happy club where they do numbers and compete against different schools while being fabulous throughout all of it.. Plus it's freaken funny!

How could I have lived my life not knowing about Glee? Well I don't know but since it seems I'm completely in a "let's watch all the new hip TV series' at once because apparently I'm going to die tomorrow" streak I'm not surprised I've gotten into this one.

Now.. what the hell does this have to do with my weight loss journey? One word:

Ok well more like: choreography+guys dancing +awesome music=Elina is in love <3

It's been really fun watching it and it's really motivating me to want to dance again. I love dancing. I miss dancing. I haven't danced around on a regular basis in over a year really. I need new moves. I think I found a show that will help me do that. (Time to YouTube!)

Energy please come to me and bring a Liza Minnelli cd with you if you please!

It's also been fun pretending to be a student again. I can't believe how much I've missed it. But that's another story.

Thank you Glee.. now let's just hope your inspiration holds while I gather Energy and Motivation to my side. Maybe I'll bribe them with donuts....


Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Update: Zumba Boy Came Back!

Just wanted to quickly update that Zumba Boy came back to Zumba class this time as a 'student' rather than the teacher.

Back a bit I wrote about a new Zumba instructor and how I hoped he would come back. I don't remember if I ever updated on him but I thought this would be a good time to do it.

After I wrote about him I went up to the front desk and asked about him a week later. Turns out that Zumba boy (his name is Owen btw) was just a substitute while the regular teacher was out sick. I asked if he would come back, they said it might take a couple of months until he was asked back, so I held off in leaving a note.

Once the regular instructor came back and I went back too (since I missed a week or two) the guy started being better at speaking and actually instructing people (my guess is that someone did in fact comment about it) I became much happier with him.

However this morning as we were about to start some people from the back (I was kind of in the back this time since I got there a little late) started making a commotion about a boy there. The instructor forced the guy to go to the front of the class and introduced him as Owen another instructor.

Later we found out that three former instructors including Owen were there. It was an intense class(I think the teacher was trying to show off a little bit) too bad I was in the back and with the novices. I kept making mistakes and it was a little frustrating.

But anyway, I was walking to the parking lot, already thinking about what I was going to write in this blog, and sure enough Zumba boy was there again.. fixing a windshield wiper of all things. I opened my trunk and was thinking, " there he is again and again I'm going to write that I saw him and missed my chance.." I dropped my stuff in and closed the trunk door. As I was about to turn to the drivers seat I suddenly did a 180 and went over to him.

"Hey Owen right?"
" I just wanted to say it was good seeing you again."

I chit chated with him for a few seconds and through a small misunderstanding I found out he used to teach there regularly at a certain time slot. He asked me if the class was still going, I said yes and in the end I simply told him it was good to see him and that I just wanted to say hi.

He smiled, said hi and told me to have a good day. I said "you too" and I did have a good day, so far..

It made me happy to finally go up to him and simply make him smile. I did it. Why do little things like these have to be so hard?

I don't know. But it's time to change that.

<3 -w0rld

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Weigh In

Disclamer: I'm not very energetic or optimistic today so I'll keep this post brief.

Current Weight: 247 lbs (I'm very happy to report that I'm finally under the 250 mark and I am going to try my hardest to keep away from reaching that number ever again)

Work Out Achievement(s): I haven't been very happy-go-lucky this past weekend or yesterday. I missed the gym yesterday but I couldn't do it twice in a row. So I forced myself out of the house today and went to the gym. However I suddenly realized that I decided to go just around the time everyone was getting off work and of course the place was packed. A large 24 hour fitness with rows and rows of treadmills and elliptical machines the length of the place and there was a waiting line. And of course people who weren't waiting were in line for the weight machines. I wasn't in the mood to wait. So I went straight to the locker rooms, passed the rows of sinks and lighted up mirrors, passed the showers and crossed the small little hallway to the pool.

It was nearly empty. I sighed in relief and realized I hadn't been swimming in weeks. I also remembered that I had found my old goggles a couple of weeks ago.. and that I had a beach towel in the trunk of my car and my swim suit in my gym bag.

I guess I was going swimming. It actually sounded perfect. I needed something therapeutic, where I didn't need an mp3 player to go in a trance.

I ended up swimming 20 laps in slow motion. Even after my old goggles snapped after the first two laps I kept going. It felt great. I am now much more calm.... and smell like chlorine.

Current Goal(s): My goal is to limit my calorie intake a bit more and keep it under 1700 calories tops. I've been going up to nearly 2000 the last week or so. I am still going strong on the 'no juice' thing and I finally got my check in so I can finally look for a few things I want to buy. It'll probably all go to hiking and camping supplies for the start of my desert adventures at the end of the month. March is here people and I'm very behind (in more ways than one). I have the "March Blues" I guess you could say. But that's not going to stop me from keeping on this journey. I won't let it. Maybe watching episode after episode of LOST isn't a good choice for me right now (I finished all 4 seasons of Heroes) but maybe it's what's giving me such determination. I'm rooting for Hurley (in LOST). "Represent Fat boy! Muah!!"

I think he's kind of cute. What?? I like nice guys with curly hair :) aaand he can keep up with all the fit jungle cats too. Now what!! LOL

I hope that this month brings me progress and hopefully some joy. Have a good week!