On a Journey to Wellness

Come with me on my journey to losing weight, getting healthy and going out to meet the world head-on!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Weigh In

Current Weight: 247 lbs (this is using the house scale so we'll see but I admit I was terrified at looking at the scale since I had done so horribly in keeping my regimen together these last couple of weeks.. you heard me WEEKS not DAYS)

Work Our Achievement(s): This should be more like "Lack" of work out achievements. I was feeling incredibly guilty this last week because I continuously either 'forgot' or 'didn't have time' to go to the gym most of last week. I 0nly went maybe twice last week and that's a lot. At the same time I started going back to my old eating habits as well and I'll tell you right now, filling your self up to the brim is NOT a good feeling. I felt like shit after I ate and again guilty. I don't like it. I did manage to go almost at midnight one day simply to say I went to the gym. I worked on cardio mainly and almost killed myself at the end since I was tired, sleepy and attempting to do a quick 5mph sprint on the treadmill. Remind myself to think before I do something stupid like that again. Thank you.

But to be fair I wasn't completely immobile last week. I took my dogs Lucky (the Dalmation) and Hunter (the cocker spaniel) , and the friendly neighborhood german shepard "Princess" who decided to tag along, for a quick walk to the post office one day. I spent most of that walk preventing my dalmation from killing the G.S. and yelling at the G.S. to "get off the road!", "come here!" and "Lucky leave Princess alone!", "Hunter! hurry up and stop marking that post!", as well as the regular "Stop." and "Ok Go! let's cross the street!" ...oh it was an eventful little walk I tell ya! Gotta love your dogs.

Then there was the day I walked to work. It wasn't a far walk but it was a nice one to have. My car was being checked out so I didn't have much of a choice and I liked that. No time to come up with excuses on NOT to do something. lol

Then there's always a little bit of yard work and dancing like crazy for a few minutes in your room.. but anyway..

In the end not completely a waste but not near as good as it should have been if I had kept up a regular routine.

Besides that I went to a "Depression Overview" class with Kaiser Permanente. Now I know this is a little odd to say but I really wanted to go to this class. I had actually missed the last class (thought it was on the wrong day totally bummed when I realized my mistake) so I was actually excited to go to a depression class. (I know..)

Once I was getting close to my exit I started to have second thoughts like "Gosh is it going to be a room full of super sad or emo people? I just want to know more and see if I should get diagnosed or not.. shit maybe this is a mistake."

Oh no! What should I do??

I also thought I was late so when I got to the classroom there were only two people in there. A big guy with shaggy hair, a big 44 oz AM-PM bottle of coke and heavy glasses, and a tall skinny, skinny girl that looked like she was from the Bay Area.. fancy scarf, cool jacket, short hair and a skull cap and everything. I decided to sit in front of the tall girl and across from the shaggy 44 oz Coke man (which was also the front) since there was no one else in the room and it seemed wrong to sit in the back with so many seats available.

Eventually a short lady 'mother-of-2' came in and soon after the doctor in charge of the group, and the class began. I thought we were a nicely diverse little group and the doctor seemed happy to have us, telling us from the very beginning that Education on Depression is half the battle in getting better and that because of the various symptoms and etc that's exactly what most people DON'T do (seek help and info) so I felt pretty good.

Two hours later I was feeling pretty happy about going to the class. I left with a booklet of information. A new knowledge on anti-depressant pills, how there are different kinds of depression, how somethings seem like depression yet aren't and over all with a new picture in my head and a desire to get diagnosed and look up the psych dept. (yeah I said it).

I reminded myself that wellness is more than just diet and exercise and this was something I really needed to work on. There was a small section on self help too and that's what I really needed since at the moment whether or not I want to go to a professional, my wallet is thin and my time in the area is short (I leave for the desert in 5 days Eeeek!). I told the doctor this too after the class ended because he was encouraging us to go to his Depression class series and I was incredibly tempted (not to mention the classes are free of charge) but I told him how I'm going to be out of town for a few months and he told me that he does those classes every few months and that they would be there when I got back. I smiled at that.

I don't feel shame in wanting to feel better. I don't feel shame in wanting/needing encouragement and hope of any kind and I don't feel shame in writing about this because 'I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired' and I need a change. This was healthy for me. I liked it.

Goal(s): Well despite all the crazy things that were going on I was still keeping up with my whole "no juice" plan and I've been drinking water like crazy. I even brought my handy water bottle (the one I keep in my car and take with me to work, to the gym and as I drive) home.. all I need now is to have it with me in my bedside table and I'm set. LOL
I'm going to try to go hiking at least once this week before I head out to the desert. I'm packing right now and have my hiking backpack and my duffel bag 2/3 full already. (I was super tempted to bring my "Entire works of Shakespeare" GIANT book but I thought that two novels, 4 field guides and a book on the Deserts of the West would be enough for me to carry so I refrained from it. lol)

My job just finished (I've been working as a tutor for low income families since October and I just finished with my last kid yesterday) so I have the whole week free so I have no excuse to NOT go to the gym.

It's time to shake off this idleness I've been going through. It's time to get loose and nimble and ready for action. You know how the Gone in 60 Seconds crew used LowRider to get loose and ready for the job?

Yeah.. well I do the same thing except my song is just a teeeeny bit different:

Just imagine me closing my eyes to this and rolling back my shoulders, cracking my knuckles and getting ready to roll.. that's me.

*Nods* yes. I need my techno mixes.

Have a great week everyone! And wish me luck to continue going well on my journey.


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