On a Journey to Wellness

Come with me on my journey to losing weight, getting healthy and going out to meet the world head-on!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

NOW I'm back!

So on Monday's Weigh In I admitted that I had been eating like a pig and the scale Shot up again .. and how I was going to remedy it while I'm still home and not wait until I'm back in the middle-of-nowhere to get back on track. I can't just take a break from my "weight loss journey" just because I'm home, right?

Well after Monday I STILL didn't do anything. And it looked like Tuesday was going to end up the same way.. But something happened that night (Tuesday). My family put on old, OLD videos of us when we were kids.

And I got to see myself as a 7 year old. Not to sound too narcissistic but I was a super cute 7 year old. No. I was a Beautiful 7 year old.

I saw myself at my 7th Bday Party and then the following year. I noticed that in less than a year I was taller and my cheeks were a slight fuller. I noticed that in the second video I had a bag of popcorn that I was eating constantly. All I could think was "I can't believe it. Already. It's already starting!"

Anyway seeing that cute little girl kind of gave me the momentum to get off my ass.

The new year is coming and I don't want to end up at the weight I started with. Eating junk just because it's there and ruining months of hard work.


I owe it to me NOW to get better.

So this morning I got up. I went to the gym. I sweat like crazy (can I just say that not working your abs or working an elliptical machine after a few months is really noticeable. My muscles noticed. LOL)

I started the day right and got a lot of little things done in my regular life as well. I hated how I would spend the whole day sprawled on a couch doing NOTHING these last few days.

But I'm back now.

And it feels great!


Monday, December 27, 2010

Weigh In

So it's after Christmas and before New Years. The damage is:

Current Weight: 220 lbs.
(Obviously I'm not surprised. This simply proves the fact that the second I stop exercising and minding what I eat I can gain 10-15 lbs in a week. Point taken.)

Work Out Achievement(s): Went for a walk twice (three times if you count me running around shopping early in the week) but that's about it.

I've also been OD-ing on chocolate this whole week.

It's a little scary actually to realize that more than once this week I eat and then soon after I feel so SICK that I want to throw up. I never do. And I'll never force myself to throw up either. I don't want to end up with a new complex thank you very much.

But yes I've also noticed the other feeling of BLOATING. Lately after filling myself up to sickness I've also noticed that I start feeling bloated and pressure in my abdomen area. Not exactly cramps but not too far away from them either.

I thought about it and realized that I can actually FEEL myself gaining weight.

It's a little scary. I don't like it!

Goal(s): New week. I have one more week at home before New Years rolls around and rolls away and I go back to work.

I need to work on working out and work on losing weight (or at least maintaining where I'm at and not gaining anymore!). I'm not interested in starting the New Year back to where I started. Thank you very much.

I promise to pop in to Blog-land more often this week. It's also become obvious that anytime I take a break from blogging I become lax and irresponsible when it comes to my weight.

Wish me luck!

Have a Great New Year!


Friday, December 24, 2010

..And Temptation Has Begun

I got home a couple of days ago on my brothers Birthday.

This means cake and lasagna.

Yesterday I was baby sitting while everyone else finished wrapping, cleaning and moving around the house.

That means being inside all day and me roaming the fridge, with the day before leftovers, all the time trying NOT to eat anything. Mission Failure.

The only exercise I've gotten in the last couple of days is a walk I took with my mom and carrying a baby in my arms. Not bad, but not the same as a daily routine of swimming and hiking. LOL

Today is a new day. It's Christmas! (My family celebrates on the 24th through the night and the 25th is usually a kickback and ok-let's-go visit-family-or-something day for us)

I've already eaten breakfast. I need to get out of the house.

Mission "Avoid Temptation" is in effect.

I can do it!

Happy Holidays!!


Monday, December 20, 2010

Weigh In

Hello Everyone!

So it's Monday again already. Honestly it feels like a Thursday. Maybe because I haven't had an official day off in 8 days... I don't know but I had to remind myself to do this post before the day ended.

SO here it is (I'll make it quick since most of my updates were part of my "Blog-Aversary")

Current Weight: 207 lbs (it didn't change from Wednesday when I weighed myself for the anniversary post. Not bad since I've been eating so much lately. I blame it on the rainy, cold weather. LOL)

Work Out Achievement(s): So last time I talked about how SLOW I was swimming and how I've been working on it. Every night I would go swimming I would take my watch and at the end of the night write down how long it would take me to do 25 laps of crawl followed by 25 laps of breast stroke.

So far it hasn't moved much from 25 minutes for 25 laps on crawl and 30 minutes for 25 laps on breaststroke.

Not bad.

Now the not so good news. It's been raining this whole week. What does this mean? It means Elina gets lazy.

Don't get me wrong I LOVE rain. But I admit I've used it as an excuse not to go running these last three days. I've also skipped out on two days of swimming. One of the days was my usual day off for swimming, but the other was simply because I had been soaked and miserable all day and I couldn't muster up the energy to want to get wet again.

Bad I know. But I have to make it up when I go home this week.

Goal(s): Ok, so I KNOW that all my old bad habits return the second I go home. I've been trying to prepare for going home this time and come up with a plan to stay on plan (if you get my meaning). The only thing I could come up with is....

I'll have to cook for myself the entire time I'm home.

I don't know if this will work. The problem with being home is that there's ALWAYS food lying around. If I stay inside I'll magnetically gravitate toward the kitchen so the second part of my plan is...

Get out of the house as much as possible!

If I'm out of the house and away from the kitchen I'll be less tempted and less likely to eat my guts out. Which brings me to part three of the plan....

Go to the Gym!

Simple yes. And I've done it plenty of times but I admit I get Very Lazy when I'm home. You just want to relax and not think of anything and that's ok. But if I can take time out of my hectic schedule at work and walk through a muddy trail and go to an outdoor pool in the rain and swim 50 or more laps what excuse do I have not to get in my car, drive to the gym and jump in to an indoor pool or watch 'The View' while working the treadmill?


So wish me luck while I'm home friends and have a Fantastic Holiday!


Friday, December 17, 2010

**My One Year BLOG-Aversary!** PART 3~

Again, Welcome back to my One Year "Blog-Aversary!"

This is the big one and my favorite (and the hardest to do not because of shy-ness but because the desert in the middle-of-nowhere has the crappiest online connection)..


First of all the mandatory shots of me now that I've lost over 40 lbs:

My co-worker took this pic and caught me making funny faces

and the side view:

Now let's step back and take a look of me a year ago:

December 2009 right after I started this blog

and now December 17, 2010 44 lbs lighter

I can't deny the difference.

I think it mainly shows in my face. My cheeks have deflated a little. LOL
And this is only the beginning.

Thank you for being a part of my journey so far and thank you for celebrating my One Year Blog-Aversary with me!

It's time to continue this journey!


**My One Year BLOG-Aversary!** PART 2~

Welcome Back to my One Year "Blog-Aversary"!

I'll be posting different updates throughout the weekend to celebrate this threshold. Part 1 was simply the introduction!

Part 2 will focus on: Abilities!

Talking about looks and measurements is only part of the game. I can't deny or ignore the other, more valuable changes this journey has created. Let's start listing the Top 10:

1. I am now able and more than willing to jog over 2 miles without stopping or tiring (when before I would stop after 30 seconds of a sloppy sprint)

2. I am able to swim a lap a minute when before I couldn't even hold my breath correctly going across the pool.

3. I can climb hills and stairs with more ease (and hopefully grace)

4. I have introduced myself to cooking and

5. Have found that I like cooking with vegetables. The more color in the dish the better!

6. My procrastination has subsided. I am now more able and less moody when it comes to getting things done, whether it be going for a jog or even doing the dishes.

7. I now feel more comfortable wearing short sleeve shirts, sleeve-less shirts, and dresses when before it was always sleeves, sweaters and pants.

8. I can FEEL and SEE my muscles and I KNOW I worked to get them and deserve to have them.

9. My health has improved. My skin is better and my hormone imbalance symptoms seem to be less. That means less use for medication and less time worrying about what the *** my body is up to to screw me over.

10. I feel inspired, proud, and energetic when people notice what I'm doing and tell me I inspire Them...and then I see them act upon that inspiration. That's the best. :)

11*. My confidence and happiness has boosted. It's miles away from what it was this time last year. I still have a lot to improve upon and more confidence to grow but for now I feel good.

Stay Tuned for Part 3!

If you missed it here is Part 1!


**My One Year BLOG-Aversary!**

****Welcome to my One Year Blog-Aversary****

Today is the day anniversary of me starting my "FAT blog" and starting this journey that has kept me busy and literally sweating all year!

And boy do I have updates.

It's time to look at all the things that have changed and the progress I've made this year.

We'll start with the main thing:

Starting Weight: 251
Current Weight: 207
I've currently lost = 44 lbs

Starting Chest: 52 inches
Current Chest: 47.5 in
-----------------------loss= 4.5 in
Starting Waist: 46 in
Current Waist: 44 in
----------------------loss= 2 in
Starting Hips: 53 in
Current Hips: 48.5 in
----------------------loss= 4.5 in
Starting Thigh: 27 in
Current Thigh: 26 in
---------------------loss= 1 in
Starting Calf: 17 in
Current Calf: 16 in
--------------------loss= 1 in

Since I've lost over 40 lbs that means new pictures coming soon!

Celebrate this great occassion with me by leaving me a comment! Let's celebrate together!

and like always THANK YOU for being with me on my journey!



Monday, December 13, 2010

Weigh In: 40 lbs lost mark!

Good Morning (or afternoon or evening). I bring good news!

Current Weight: 210 lbs (I have now reached the 40 lbs lost mark! Hell Yeah~)

First of all I am giving myself a nice pat on the back for this. I know this is a big step and I KNOW I worked hard to get here but it happened so fast that I'm still trying to get over the re-losing of the 30 lbs that this hasn't sunk in yet. So for now, *pat, pat Elina* Yes. That's good.

I'll have a low calorie margarita later I think. Yes.

Now to business...

Work Out Achievement(s): There's a few things to report here. A few days ago I went swimming. There were people in the pool surprisingly (I mean who goes to an outdoor pool after sundown in December??.. oh wait I do..hehe) and I saw it was my recently met neighbors.

I asked them, like I ask everyone who is in the pool, if they don't mind me taking over the southern long end of the pool to do my laps. They say no it's fine and everyone leaves except the lady I just met. She decides she wants to do laps too.

So we swim and I find out something.

I am NOT a fast swimmer.

I knew I wasn't super quick the time I went to the pool at the 24 and there were people passing me. But swimming in my own pool with someone next to me the whole time really hit it home. I'm SLOW!

I've been swimming up to 65 laps and I've noticed that after a while I feel restless and want to get out already but I never realized it was because I was taking so long.

So long story short the next day or two I decide to time myself. I just had a piece of paper, a pencil and my watch so it wasn't to the second but this is what I got so far:

51 laps of crawl took me 53 minutes to do (I split it up and timed myself for 1 lap, 5 laps, 10, 15, and 20 laps in that order). So not bad I average a lap a minute. I could work with that.

But then I timed myself the next night swimming only Breast stroke (same system: 1, 5, 10, 15, and 20 laps) and I did 51 laps in 75 minutes!

That is WAY too long. So that's what I'm working on now. I need to get those numbers down. Once I get money to buy some equipment I think I'll add a stopwatch to the list or a timer. We'll see. I promised myself that I will not be in the pool longer than 65 minutes.

Other than that I've continued my little jogs in the morning and I found out something yesterday.

The best music thus far to listen to keep me pumped up and moving is..


I was rocking out and lip syncing to Macho Man as I jogged. It was AWESOME. At some point I realized the horse a few feet from me had been staring at my half jog/ half dance moves for a while before I spotted it. He must have thought I was crazy, but I was too far gone in Disco-land to care too much what a horse thought of me. LOL

Goal(s): So I'm hoping to get to the 200's by Christmas time. We'll see about that. I don't want to burn myself out trying to get there though so I'm not going to push myself too hard. Losing 3 lbs in a week is healthy and I'm happy with that. I just want to keep with it.

I promised I was going to do more food posts and I will. It takes so long to load a picture out here that I keep waiting to do these posts until "I have a better wifi signal" but I don't want to get lazy about it either.

Other than that I hope my "speed up the swimming" plan works out.

Also my *One Year Blog-aversary* is coming up this week and I have A LOT of things I'll be updating then so keep out for that too!

Thank you for being a part of my journey so far. Let's do this!


Thursday, December 9, 2010

I'm scared of losing weight

Ok I admit it. Lately I've been scared of losing weight.

Sure I've been working hard at losing weight and I've seen progress. But just a few days ago I really sat down to think about it.

According to the scale this Monday I am around 213 lbs. Not bad right? But here's the thing:

I started gaining weight in 5th grade.

By the time I was in 7th grade I already weighed 215 lbs.

By 9th grade I weighed 225 lbs.

Throughout high school I stayed around the 230's.

When I got to college I weighed around the 240's and 250's (at some point I weighed 260 lbs and the thinnest I remember recording was 245 lbs).

After that I stayed in the 250's.

Now what did the scale say this Monday? 213 lbs?

I am now thinner than I was when I was 13 years old.

I realized that being obese has been part of who I am since I was a kid. I Don't Know how to live another way.

Now you may ask, "Then why are you trying to lose weight if being big is part of your identity?"

Because the person I've been so far is someone I've HATED.

So although I'm scared of going somewhere I haven't been before at the same time I'm ready. I am willing to sacrifice this literal defense layer and move on with my life. Not just move on but fight and work my butt off (literally!) to become someone better.

I can do this!


Monday, December 6, 2010

Weigh In!

Brace yourselves. I couldn't believe it. I'm actually a little scared to post this but I'm trying to keep positive because it's SUPPOSED to be positive:

Current Weight: 213 lbs ("What!?! Holy Sh**!" <---was my reaction when I weighed myself and, "I can't believe this!" was my reaction the three other times I stepped on the scale to confirm)

All I can say at the moment is that my intense week last week must have paid off.. either that or someone is playing with me.

Work Out Achievement(s): What can I say here. Like I mentioned before I was trying to make up for my horrible slip up during Thanksgiving that I worked out so hard I was utterly exhausted. The new jogging routine, the hiking during work and upping my swimming (I started adding 5 laps instead of one lap a day, and although I had started this new routine at 35 laps I am now up to 61 laps. Kind of makes you say "Well no wonder she got that number on the scale." My neighbors have already told me I'm crazy. I take it as a compliment.), as well as paying close attention to my food intake took a lot out of me.

I did it all last week. I was tired but determined to lose weight. I think at some point I even prayed.

I'm going to take this number and keep it. However I have no intentions or desires to keep up the pace I had last week. I'm going to slow down a little bit. I'm still going to jog in the mornings and I'm still going to swim, however I'm going back down to one extra lap a day. I've been wanting to switch up my pool routine but for that I need equipment and I'm waiting until after the holidays to buy them since I need to save up for presents and etc.

Goal(s): Like I just mentioned I'm going to continue what I'm doing now but one thing I want to focus on more (besides core work) is food. Like the annoying trainer at the 24 told me, "Diet is 50 to 70% of the game." I've noticed that I don't actually talk about food here as much as I should.

This doesn't mean that I don't pay attention to food. It's on my mind at all times. It also doesn't mean that I don't plan my meals, or I'm not conscious of portions, vegetables and fruits, protein and carbs. But I want to spend more time focusing this blog on food.

I actually haven't mentioned it but I really look forward to cooking dinner every night. I'm getting in the habit of enjoying chopping up my food and purposely choosing colorful things to feast my eyes as well as my appetite. Look out for more food related posts for now.

Lastly I'm very aware that I'm incredibly close to the 40 lbs lost mark. Two pounds. 2 pounds and I'll reach 40 lbs. I've been stuck in the 220's most of the year that the idea that I'd even reach 40 lbs by the end of the year, especially after Thanksgiving, had dimmed and seemed impossible. Giving me that hope again is giving me momentum to keep going.

I can do it!! You can too!


Saturday, December 4, 2010

I'm sore/ sexy

I've been working pretty hard this week.

I've been eating right (for the most part) and swimming every night. My job itself has also been physically taxing (though not as much as before) and I've continued my 'trots' in the morning.

I'm sore.

My arms are sore. That probably has to do with the switch I've made to doing half my laps freestyle and half my laps breast stroke.

Breast stroke works my body in different ways. I can feel my muscles moving when I'm doing that stroke. From my neck to my feet. It was actually difficult to move that way in the beginning, especially when I was trying to move faster and continuously, but now it's getting easier and more smooth. I enjoy it more now which is good since that's my favorite stroke.

My neck is sore. The main culprit for that is the laps and laps of freestyle I've been doing. Cutting it up and doing 5 laps of freestyle and 5 laps of breast stroke has been helping. Though I still wish a cute masseur would come to my place and help out my neck.

My legs are VERY sore. No question here the combination of swimming, hiking and jogging is catching up to me. The difference in terrain in all three is keeping my legs guessing and giving them a work out so much so that they're screaming in agony.

The only thing that isn't sore are my abs. Which just means I need to work my core more.

But do not worry. The soreness isn't severe. It's just there whenever I stretch. It's like a reminder that I have muscles and that they're being worked more now than ever.

Will I get ripped? LOL I doubt it. Not yet. But hopefully they'll get toned.

I like to think that beneath all this flab is a toned and sexy body and my careful and controlled diet and work-out routines are my tools to cut away the fat and leave behind the sexy.

Don't you want to think so? I do.

The Spark has a section in it's pages about what words, phrases or images people use as motivators. I remember one specifically that I thought was funny and a little embarrasing. One woman said, "A bikini! A bikini before I die!"

Lately I've been thinking more about that phrase. It makes more sense to me now. Why shouldn't I wish to have a body who would look good in a bikini? Why shouldn't I want to work toward looking better? Feeling comfortable with myself and my body instead of hiding it with baggy clothing and layers.. and I also started realizing I've been saying my own phrase, "Catwoman suit! I want to wear a catwoman suit!"

A full body cat suit.

Usually black, skin tight, and let's face it pretty freaken hot. I've always liked the idea of having a body that can support that suit, not to mention Catwoman is my hero. (No really!)

I've always dreamt of wearing one. But that's where I kept that idea, in my dreams. Because I KNEW it would NEVER happen. I mean, look at me, who would want to see me in a catwoman suit? The image itself was disgusting to me.

But now? Now I have hope. Now I see that maybe I can get there. Maybe I CAN work towards a body that can wear a suit. I'm not saying I want to be a size 0. I know that's not realistic. But curves. I want curves. The RIGHT curves. Is that too much to ask for? I no longer think it is. I think it IS possible.

It'll take time. I'll have set backs like this years Thanksgiving, plateaus, maybe even depression. But right now I think I can do it. That's what matters.



Wednesday, December 1, 2010

December Weigh In

Welcome to December!

Honestly I couldn't believe it. November went by WAY too fast. Too too fast. But I can definitely feel December now *shiver*.

So I said I'd reveal the Thanksgiving damage today so here goes:

Current Weight: 226 lbs (It kind of answers the question of whether or not it's possible to gain 10 lbs in 10 days [pssst* the answer is YES])

Ok, so I KNEW that I would be gaining weight last week. Like I mentioned already I was eating like there was no tomorrow the entire week I was home but when I finally bit my lip and stepped on that scale the number shook me.

I couldn't really say I became upset (I'm upset now the more I think about it but..) I instead became resigned and said to myself:
"Damn. This isn't a time to go to pieces Elina. The question you have to ask yourself now is 'why did I do it?'"

I'm not expecting an answer straight away but it is something I have to search within myself.

Why do I go back to my old binging habits the second I go home
? (because this is becoming a trend you see. Every time I spend time at home I eat like crazy and gain weight.)

What am I feeling exactly when I stick something in my mouth? It's not hunger.

How can I change that? Big question.

I'm working on the answers.

Now to counter what I did last week I've since then returned to my workout routine (and a semi-portioned controlled, veggie and fruit filled diet) and have actually started adding something new, partly to make up for my laziness at home and partly because I think it's time to challenge myself further.

I've started lightly jogging in the morning.

It's not anything big. I do enough cardio every night with swimming. I'm taking it easy on the jog. It's actually somewhere between a power-walk and a jog. I call it a 'trot'. Why? Because that's what I look like when I look at my shadow (LOL) and also that is a pace I can easily keep up with without getting winded too quickly. If I start to jog or run full on I get tired easily and stop. It usually ends up with me walking 3/4 of the way.

I have a plan! Just like I did with swimming where I added a lap every night, with jogging I've planned that every day I will go a little further. What rocks about this is that because this little village is pretty much a stretch of highway with buildings on either side there are markers already set every few feet along the road! All I have to do is go one marker further every day. I expect to get to a mile in no time. I also have buildings and etc as markers. This is going to be fun. :)

Now the question you might be asking is "Why so much cardio Elina? You just said you do enough already? Why this?"

This has more to do with endurance training than anything else. I need to condition myself not only physically but also mentally. I'm slowly realizing that the whole idea of "just one more, just one more" is not only working with my work outs but is also helping me with my HUGE procrastination problem.

If procrastinating were a sport I'd have a gold medal. I'm learning that this blog, the routines I'm doing and the mindset I'm forcing myself to have are really helping me in every day life.

I've noticed that now whenever I think, "Meh, I'll do it later" a voice inside of me almost instantly and strongly cuts in saying, "NO. You need to do this NOW."

That voice is the same voice that encourages me to do just 'one more lap' or jog 'a few more feet'.

It's a voice that had been silenced for years. I'm glad to hear it so much stronger now and to encourage it I'm starting the jogging routine in the mornings. (Jogging also warms me up for the day since our little trailer doesn't have heat so yeah *brrr*)

I guess one really finds opportunity after owning to our mistakes eh?

I will keep you posted as this new project continues.

Happy December everyone!