On a Journey to Wellness

Come with me on my journey to losing weight, getting healthy and going out to meet the world head-on!

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Third Blog-aversary: Awesomeness in Pictures!

So yes, in my last Blog-aversary post I talked about all the things that went wrong and didn't go the way I planned. But enough of that. The year 2012 ended up being a great year when it came to excursions, achievements, and over all experiences. Each month represented something new, and thanks to me being a photo fiend I was able to take pictures of it. 

January 2012: I completed my second 5k! The Coastal 5k outside of L.A. was a great location and I was thrilled to have been able to run a second race. At this point I was planning on training for a marathon. 

February 2012: I was back in full swing at work. I got a chance to complete a 13 mile hike from up in the San Jacinto mountains down to Palm Springs. It was an awesome experience.

March 2012: I completed my first 10k! The Coaster Run next to Knotts Berry Farm theme park in Buena Park, CA was a great location and a great day to run this race. Here I am with my medal and my pie! No, I didn't actually eat the pie. LOL
April 2012: I took a trip up the desert and visited my second home. It had been a while since I hung out in the Mojave desert, and getting a chance to do some old field work and climbing on rocks was a great expereince.

 May 2012: I got to cross out something from my bucket list! I visited the Redwoods in Northern California. The tallest trees in the world and the whole forest was like a dream come true!
 June 2012: I got a chance to work with some amazing people and on the way I got to hike Muir Woods in San Francisco and experience another bucket list cross off: the humidity of the east coast. Hello Virginia!
 July 2012: Continuing on my awesome summer I got to check out Washington DC! I walked the entire Smithsonian museum quad (another bucket list!) and got to check out awesome sights like the Lincoln Memorial and the White House.
 Also in July I got to go to Chicago! I got a chance to ride the El train (bucket list!) and visit the Planetarium. It was an awesome vacation, where I got to wear a summer dress. Being able to wear this dress was a huge step up, when before I would never have dreamed of even owning one because I was so self conscious. I felt free this day.

 August 2012: My birthday! I welcomed 26 with a new mind set. I felt strong, attractive and happy. I was ready to go back to work.
 September 2012: After a whole summer of no running due to plantar fasciitis I finally return to running. This was one of my first runs in September. It felt good, don't let my weird face fool you. lol
 October 2012: Back in full swing at work I decide to go on one of my soul cleansing hikes. I love these hikes, for the view, the exercise, and just the chance to be outside.
 November 2012: Despite slowing down in my running I still managed to run my third race of the year and my fourth 5k. The Front Runners Pride run in Palm Springs was great and I ended up with my best time yet!

 December 2012: Christmas Eve I spontaneously ran a Christmas virtual 5k and ended up winning! It was an awesome way to start the holidays and give me a bit of spunk and motivation to continue on my journey.

Yes, I didn't end up losing any weight this year. Yes I have self sabotaging issues and I need to work on my priorities. But this year was an awesome year full of new experiences. I got to run races, hike, go to new places and meet new people. It was a great year and I feel I have grown. However, it's time to start over and start with basics. My journey is not over and I need to keep losing weight in order to better my health and my life.

Bring it on 2013. I'm ready for you.


Third Blog-aversary: What happened?

Three years. It's been three years since I started this blog. My first year, 2010, I titled the "Just Do It" year where I finally got off my butt and moved toward a healthier lifestyle. It went great. In 2011 the second year was the "Year of Risk Taking" and looking back at last years blog-aversary post it definitely was just that. Many new things and many new risks happened that year. That year was also the year I went to my lowest weight which was 199 lbs.

This year turned out to be the year of "Try, Fail, Repeat." I'm not saying the whole year was a failure but I happened to get ahead of myself, tried out different things and they just didn't end up turning out the way I wanted. Another name for 2012 could be "Maintain, Maintain, Maintain". After a while I started believing weight loss was impossible and all I focused on was maintaining my weight.

Last holiday season I went on a huge binge and gained 15 pounds in the two weeks. That made my starting weight for 2012 at 224 lbs. Throughout the year I managed to maintain between 215-220 lbs. I think the lowest I was able to get was 212 which was two weeks ago. One week later and I was back at 215 lbs.

What have I been doing all this year? In the beginning I started running more and even ran my first 10k race. Soon after however I injured my foot and spent the entire summer taking it easy and not running. Once the fall came around my motivation had waned and I did the bare minimum I needed to simply maintain my weight and not gain anymore. Since running seemed like the only exercise I could do and I couldn't even do that well (my mentality once I injured my foot) I felt like I was in a rut. I noticed that I kept making excuses all the time. 
Getting annoyed with the wrong people.

"If only I had a pool."
"If the dining hall would just cook less greasy food."
"If they'd stop baking cookies all the time!"
"If I could just have the time to cook my own food."
"If running weren't so boring."
etc etc

I realized even as I said it that I was simply unhappy with what I had and instead of trying to work with it and focusing on healthy habits I kept reminiscing on the 'good old days' where I was losing 5 lbs a week, had access to a kitchen and my own food, full access to a pool, and hiked every day all day.

To add to that weight loss was no longer my priority. This year I gained something else that ended up taking my complete attention and priority. This is going to sound horrible but it was men. More specifically one man.
So fat people can have love too??
 Before I lost weight my self esteem was non existent and not only did I believe that no person would find me attractive but I also believed that any person that was overweight wouldn't be able to find someone. It would therefore baffle me when I would see men and women my size or bigger having a great time on dates, moving in with significant others, getting married and having children. It BAFFLED me! I wanted to learn their secret, because of course it had to be a trick. I eventually had to learn that people are beautiful in different forms. I had to learn that confidence was sexy. I had to learn to love myself and love my body first before I could find someone to agree with me.

Once I started losing weight the confidence came with it. By the time the end of 2011 rolled around I felt like a new person. And people noticed; more specifically men noticed. I found one that caught my eye and I've been spending time with him every moment that I can. Friends who have witnessed me gush about it must be sick of hearing and seeing it. I'm very happy in that front right now but it also put every other goal I had on hold. That included weight loss.

I realized this year that when I was losing weight I was so dedicated I considered it my primary job. This year it fell so far back in my mind it became something I should look in to when I get a chance. "Let's do lunch next month, eh weight loss?"

But something brought it back to priority number 1. My health. I have been so satisfied with my current weight loss because my health had gotten 10 times better. My skin infections had subsided, my hormone levels were ok, and my menstrual cycles were pretty regular. But in the last two months I suddenly got something new. In the course of a week I started getting red, itchy bumps all over my skin. I thought it might have been bug bites but once I got a chance to see a doctor I learned it was a skin infection. A DIFFERENT skin infection. Out of the frying pan and in to..another frying pan. It's like my body is telling me,
"Hey. Hey! You're not done yet! Why are you sitting around? You still have pounds and pounds to go! You can't get comfy at this weight! Here, take that! Now deal with it."

What a way to get my attention eh?

So now I have something new to remind me that I still have 40 lbs to go to hit my goal weight. 40 pounds! All I want is to get to a BMI where I'm no longer considered obese. At this moment in time I would be very happy with being overweight.

One thing that I definitely need is support. I haven't been a good support system this year and because of it I've lost my support system as well. I feel a bit lost and lonely to tell you the truth. No fault but my own.

One of my biggest resolutions is to become a better weight loss supporter. I finally checked in on the people that I have been following and nearly everyone has hit a rut or has had trouble this year. I will not give up on these wonderful people just like I refuse to give up on myself.

Despite my failure to lose weight I have been adamant about maintaining my weight. I refuse to get anywhere near the weight I used to be. Not all is lost, and despite this lengthy post there were many wonderful things that happened this year. Which I'll post about next. :)
Stay tuned for the happy flip side!


Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Gangnam Style made me sore

So if you've been living under a rock for the past six months a catchy song and dance has taken over the nation (if not the world) called Gangnam style.

Being the complete dork, Kpop fan, and dance fiend that I am I declared that I would learn this dance!

So last night I went at it multiple times trying to get it down.

Well I think I was doing it right because this morning inner thighs are SORE! If you watch the video you will see there's a part where they put their hands on one bent knee and bounce then rotate their hips. Yeah... that was the move that did it. LOL

I'm still determined to get this song down! Once I do I promise to record it and post it.

Happy Christmas!


Monday, December 24, 2012

Finished the Christmas Virtual 5k!

I woke up this morning at 5:30 a.m. to the sound of rain. And rain. And more rain. I groggily brought out the smart phone and checked the weather. It said 80% chance of rain before 10 a.m. I had planned to complete my virtual 5k early in the morning, instead I turned over and concluded that I'd do it at 10 a.m.

At 10:30 a.m. I was out the door. It was still sprinkling a bit but not enough to actually wet my cotton hoodie. I completed the first mile in 12 minutes; my average pace.
Nice rainy xmas morning for a run eh?
  I completed the second mile in 25 minutes; still regular pace but by this time I started to slow down a bit. I hadn't run since my last 5k in early November so I wasn't surprised at how winded I was becoming. But I kept it steady and kept going. I finished the 5k in 39 minutes 10 seconds back in my neighborhood.
I did it!
It was an awesome way to start the holiday celebrations! I'm glad I did it! My post race sweaty mess then went home and took this final pic with my bib.
I've said it many times before but I really am grateful for finally getting off my butt and moving towards a more active lifestyle. I would have never done anything like this when I was younger and although it's been a few years since I started, and yes I still have not reached my goal weight, I still am proud of moving towards fitness and away from a more sedentary lifestyle. 

Thanks to Kiley from Daily Vitamin F for hosting this virtual 5k!

Did you complete a race this morning? How did you do?


Sunday, December 23, 2012

Bored? Go eat a donut run a race!

I've been home for a week and like every year when I go home for the holidays I fear I'll go back to my old ways and start binge eating like crazy due to boredom or who knows what. This year has been no different. I have been eating everything I see. I think I worked out twice in the last eight days.

More and more I've been noticing how I've been sabotaging my own weight loss. The second I see that I'm losing weight, or gaining it, I continue to eat. I suddenly become very tired, or very lazy and I can't/don't work out. I keep wondering why I'm scared of losing weight. Is the weight part of my identity? Do I feel like losing weight is losing myself? What exactly am I fearing? And how can I stop myself from sabotaging my health? I feel like I need a personal life coach yelling at me constantly, saying "Get off your ass! Go work out! Do it now!" except that person is me and that person seems to have lost their voice.

So I decided to log in to blogger and search for inspiration. I always get a bit of inspiration reading everyone's blogs. And one of the first things I saw was someone announcing a virtual Christmas race hosted by Daily Vitamin F
I've never run a virtual race and I thought "Why not?" Money is tight, motivation is low, and strict race rules are not what I'm in to right now. So why not go for a race that's free, you can race the way you want and as long as I do it at Christmas I'll be fine. Sounds like a great idea!

So that's what I'll be doing tomorrow morning. Putting on my running shoes and going for it. It'll be fun and it'll be cool knowing there are people out in the world that are doing the same thing I'm doing even though I don't know them, we're not at the same location or time zone. But we're all moving toward fitness and our goal of completing 3.1 miles on Christmas. Awesome.

Better than scarfing down holiday chocolate right? I think so too.


Monday, December 10, 2012

When you can't believe weight loss is happening...

I weighed myself this morning and the scale said
Current Weight: 212.4 lbs

Now that's awesome and if I can lose one more pound I'll be back to the 40 pound loss mark. I haven't been there in months! But I can't seem to believe it. I look at myself in the mirror and if I look hard enough I can see that my face isn't puffier and my clothes seem to fit nicely enough. Yet, I still can't seem to believe the scale.

I didn't feel satisfied with the number so I brought out the tape measure. It said:
Hips: 47.5 inches
Waist: 40 inches
Chest: 46 inches

I lost 0.5 inches on my hips and 1-2 inches on my waist.

So things are going well. Yet, I can't feel satisfied. I don't feel the loss. I'm happy but I somehow keep feeling like it's a fluke. Maybe I've been stuck in this plateau for so long that weight loss seems like a fantasy.

I'm going to continue watching my food intake and exercise. Keep it simple and see if this fluke luck continues. Who knows, maybe I will get under 210 lbs by January.

*Looks around suspiciously* Could this be true?

Cautiously enthusiastic

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Waking up and feeling... bleh

Have you ever had that feeling where you wake up and you feel... just not right? Where you wake up and you KNOW your body doesn't feel well or rested, or fit and you KNOW it's because you didn't get a chance to exercise well the day before, or you ate that extra brownie when you shouldn't have?

Now have you ever gotten that feeling when you wake up where you do feel refreshed? When you know you've been keeping up with good food choices and you just feel.. fit and healthy?

Yeah I miss that refreshed feeling. It's the best way of me measuring my fitness and my habits. When I wake up in the morning and I feel stiff and heavy I know I did bad choices the day before. If I wake up and I feel good and healthy I know I did well the day before.

I'm hoping that my days this month start with the healthy-happy mornings. Lately I've been feeling stiff and out of it. I want to return to fitness... and yet I just finished eating that last piece of chocolate. I need to work on my priorities and my motivation. It's lacking again and it's getting harder and harder to keep going.

That's all I hope for right now. Motivation and a healthy feeling. Is that too much to ask?


Tuesday, December 4, 2012

The month of November

The month of November has been crazy and flew by. One second I was about to do my third 5k. It came and went and now December is here.

Many things have happened and at the same time not much has changed.

I finished my 5k with my best time yet. I finished it in 34minutes and 28 seconds. My last 5k was in 34 minutes and 50 seconds. I was able to shave off almost half a minute. Now that may not be a big difference but considering I hadn't been running as religiously as I was the year before and having a stupid injury that still occasionally bothers me, running a little faster is a GREAT accomplishment.

After that I've been hiking! More pictures of that to come soon.

Have I lost any weight?

I checked on Monday and I am in my dreaded plateau of
Current Weight: 214.0 lbs

This is actually good news because I had been keeping the scale at 216/218 and this slightly smaller number is a welcome change.

Let's hope I can keep the numbers low for December.

Happy Holidays and hopefully more consistent updates from me.