Today was a hard day

I have been trying to avoid the truth; I have been gaining weight. Despite all the doctor visits, all the personal trainer sessions and the food-diet change I have been gaining weight.

It says so on the scale, by measuring tape and the way I feel in the mornings. I had to own up and admit that I've been over eating and spending most of my time sitting down all day staring at a computer screen. A recipe for disaster.

I told myself that it's time to stop these shenanigans and get back on the wagon for good. Today I wrote down my weight loss goals for the next 6 weeks and decided to seriously start tracking my food. I decided to focus on calories but also the amount of carbs and sugar I eat since that was what I was supposed to look after this whole time anyway.

I did some easy balance/ strength training exercises early in the morning and went for a 2.3 mile walk this afternoon.

The goal was to keep my calories at or under 1500 and I was close. I ended up consuming 1610. The food consumption was the absolute hardest part. I had cravings almost every hour on the hour. I knew half the time I wasn't really hungry but I had become so used to constantly eating that it was soooo hard not to walk to the fridge and find the nearest thing to munch on.

I did eat chocolate. I did manage to go over on my carbs and sugar but slightly (I went over 12 grams on sugar and 45 grams on carbs). It's not bad considering it's my first day really tracking. But boy was it hard not to get a second helping of this or that. Or to mindlessly eat some chips or other random thing. After dinner my body was screaming for more. But I knew I didn't need any more food. I was just craving random things.

Today was day 1... again. Better to start now than never. I'm going to bed slightly hungry, and that's ok.

Until tomorrow,
-w0rld

Second Blood Test Results are In

On Wednesday I went to a diagnostics lab to get my final blood tests done. I had to wait a month because I had to get off Metformin to see how my body regulates blood sugar and insulin and I had to wait until I reached the ovulation phase of my cycle to see if I was ovulating. (One of the major problems with women with PCOS is infertility and I admit although I'm not looking to get preggers anytime in the near future it's scary to think I can't.)

This morning I was woken up by a ringing phone and an unknown number. It turned out to be the doctors office. The technician happily told me that they'd received my results and all was normal and I'm not pre-diabetic. If you know me by now that was not enough information. I asked about my ovulation results. She said that the doctor had just told her that all was normal and she assumed that meant my ovulation test too.

My immediate reaction:

When you ASSUME You make an ASS out of U and ME. 

I asked if I could get a copy of my results and if I could speak to my doctor about an upcoming "now what" appointment. I left a voicemail.

I went about my business for the day, which consisted of me wearing a hard hat while on a tour of a water recycling plant (who knew recycled water could taste so good!)

This is how we roll.

This place was huge! Like Disneyland for plants.

and later went to set up my table for an environmental fair, hosted in this beautiful arboretum east of Pasadena.

When I finally returned home I saw that I had an email from the doctors office. The technician had sent me my lab results and told me my doctor had gotten my voicemail.

My ovulation test results were normal. I'm ovulating on my own. My glucose/ insulin tests were normal too. She then said I can book an appointment with her partner (in crime) because she's about to start maternity leave. *Hashtag pregnant doctor*

Things are finally getting revealed and I'm finally getting closure on my disorder. Now I need to make an appointment to talk about what I can do now to help my PCOS.

Final thoughts:
Again, I had the same impression as my last results--- if everything is so freaken normal and fine than why do I still have trouble losing weight and having PCOS symptoms? What more can I do besides what I've been doing to try and better my life?

But I am very happy to find out I'm not pre-diabetic. I'm going to continue to work on a meal plan that has less starches and sugars. Even if I'm not insulin resistant (and we haven't ruled out that I'm not) it's still a good idea to balance blood sugar.

I guess I should be happy about my test results, and I am. I just don't know where to go from here. Hopefully one more doctor visit will help me solve this feeling of hopelessness.

Thanks everyone for supporting me!

-w0rld