It's almost the end of another chapter in my life. Two chapters actually... at the same time. One is my job working as a Teacher Naturalist in the San Jacinto mountains in Southern California. The other is having to end a wonderful relationship I started with an amazing man I met in the San Jacinto mountains in Southern California. Both chapters end for the same reason; I am moving to the Eastern Sierra mountains ( oh those mountains) for a new job as a Lead Instructor, teaching communities about water systems and water diversion in California. It'll be an awesome position, in a beautiful place I love (that's where I initially reached my 50 lb loss mark), but the fact that I'm leaving behind another beautiful place and a wonderful person to do it is making me more emotional than I care to admit.
Which brings out the whole idea about emotional eating. I am a professional emotional eater. It's so engrained in me I do it subconsciously and have a hard time figuring out if I'm hungry or just bored, or sad, or mad. I remember the first time I cried over a boy the first bit of advise my mother gave me was "Elina, please don't take it out on eating. Stay away from the kitchen. Go do something else." I have kept my mother's words with me since then.
So now that I'm getting close to leaving I need to focus on different things in order to help me stay away from food. I need to focus on finishing my job here strong. I need to focus on getting ready for the new job. I need to start calorie counting and reading over specific diet recipes for PCOS women. I need to start training for a new triathlon. Never mind that I haven't registered for one yet. I need to give as much attention to the wonderful people in my life before I have to say goodbye.
I've been getting sad and therefore a bit distant from others, including friends and family. I don't want to lose my connections with the people I care about because of how I feel. On the contrary I should have them as a support system, as I wish to be a support for others. All these things are things I need to use, and have used before to keep me away from food.
It's not easy though, since food has been my escape for so long and I have a hard time stopping once I start eating something I enjoy eating. Oh those trigger foods. We're talking sugar, bread, cheese, more sugar, and more bread too. I'm hoping that finding alternatives to the fatty, sugary foods I crave will help me get busy and not eat, but if I do eat, I eat things that aren't so harmful.
I've fought emotional eating before and I can do it again. I feel like I'm actually preparing for a battle... damn I need to stretch first! And that's exactly what all this prep is; preparing myself for a battle I'll start once I actually move. 26 days left.
Let's get ready! Stay away from food by keeping busy and focusing on my health and my friends. Deal with my emotions straight on and not with ice cream. Check.
Good luck everyone!