I'm feeling better.

Back in Virginia and I'm feeling better. After my rant two days ago (and still in San Francisco) I was able to calm down (writing always helps put things in perspective) really look at what I'm doing, where I was and see that I really was being too harsh on myself.

Soon after I learned that it's the T.O.M again and suddenly everything made more sense. The overreactions and emotional craziness I get with PMS can be amazing. And once I recognize them they go away like a lowering tide. Also amazing.

I'm better now. I can actually look at myself in the mirror and see that I am not actually a disgusting looking person but just me. A work-in-progress with a self-deprecating smile and determination behind the eyes. Grrr!

Plus one thing that I noticed as well is that I need to stop hiding or feeling ashamed that I'm trying to lose weight. It never helps when you're hiding it. So now that I'm staying in a cabin with my co-workers I already told one of them that they're going to see me making a fool of myself doing pilates 'cause guess what:

I'm working on it~

 I'm buying this!

My old pilates video got scratched then lost. Sadness. I really want to get back to it so I'm getting this dvd and I'm going to add it to my nightly routine. And one day things will get better. They will.

love
-w0rld