I've become so upset, yet hadn't really taken any real steps on the latest weight gain. So when I weighed myself this morning I was pretty pleased with what the scale said, although the mirror really didn't agree with it.
Current Weight: 216.6 lbs
So that's the smallest number I've seen all year so far. I gained so much weight in January the lowest I'd gotten since then had been 217 lbs. So I'm hoping that I'll be able to keep seeing this number go down.
I start my new job exactly a week from today. I want to weigh 215 lbs. Looking at the scale I think I can make that happen. I just have to be adamant about making sure I don't binge and keep active. Today wasn't a very good start. I grazed all day and this evening at a get together at my boss I almost single handed-ly ate the bean dip and more than a few cookies for appetizers. I still feel full now. I'll have to do better the rest of the week. I'm really rooting for the 0.4 lbs loss.
I think I can! I think I can!
My goal for this summer is to reach 200 lbs by my birthday in August. Going back to the 50 lbs loss mark would be a great way to get myself back on track. I think losing 16 lbs in 2.5 months is definitely do-able.
How am I going to do it? Well for now I think I'm going to reintroduce myself to fruits and vegetables. Because I can't run I've been going on long walks and easy short hikes. I'm going to make a streak to do 10 push ups a day and 100 crunches a day for a month. Also VERY do-able.
We'll start there. I'm not going to make too many elaborate goals yet. We'll start with fruits and vegetables, walks, crunches and push ups. For one month. I think I can do that.
Wish me luck. I've already done my push ups, and walk for the day. I just need 20 more crunches. LOL
We can do this!
love
-w0rld
Monday, May 28, 2012
Sunday, May 27, 2012
I cried when I got to the parking lot...
I've been MIA for almost a month. Why? It partly had to do with me gaining weight again. Not knowing how much weight I had been gaining because my scale ran out of batteries (and it took me two and a half weeks to replace) and end of the year stress.
I had to take a step back and realize what had "gone wrong". I had to really think about why I wasn't happy and what I REALLY wanted to do with my health. At some point in the last 9 months I had lost momentum to keep up my weight loss streak. In those 9 months I have gained 18 lbs. I bite my nails more than ever.
Something was wrong. I had to figure it out. It wasn't easy to focus on it either since it's the end of the season with my job. I had absolutely become obsessed with a certain person and honestly my attention was elsewhere.
To top it off my right foot had continued to give me trouble and my running had stopped gradually partly because of the pain and partly because I just wasn't feeling it. When I FINALLY looked up my symptoms and then went to the doctor to get it checked I found out I have plantar fasciitis.
Now I had already looked up the symptoms and I had no doubt that's what I had. Getting the doctor to say it just confirmed it. Plantar fasciitis seems to be a common injury with runners. I had read online that it would take months if not a year for it to heal and during that time I couldn't run. I was prepared to hear that from the doctor as well when I asked him;
"So I can't run. For how long? How long will it take to heal?"
His answer almost made me burst in to tears, "It's chronic."
CHRONIC. That horrible, hated, doomed, disgusting word that has made my life hell for the last 10+ years.
Chronic. The word that means that no matter what I do to try and better my health I get screwed over for LIFE.
C.H.R.O.N.I.C. The vain of my existence. The reason I have to take pills all the time. The reason I am so self conscious of showing different parts of my body (scars). The reason why I wasn't able to have regular periods. The reason why I started this life changing journey in the first place.
And hearing that news when I'm frustrated because I lost my favorite and best form of exercise (swimming) and had been trying desperately to keep the weight gain at bay when I saw I was yo-yoing back up. The only motivation I still had, the goals I had for this year (to run/walk a marathon by the end of the year) were stripped from me. The foot pain itself wasn't what broke me. It wasn't even the rude doctor. It was what it meant.
I had been working so hard to try to change my life to the healthier but the huge weight plateau I experienced, my career change, my struggles with food and now this injury that took the only type of exercise I could do without having to rely on a gym membership or any special equipment (since I live so far from any place that has a gym); add to it that it's the end of the work season, I'm tired and it was the T.O.M, by the time I said goodbye to the doctor, bought my shoe insoles at the pharmacy, and walked across the parking lot to my car I started crying.
I couldn't deal with it. I broke down in the parking lot. I had other errands to do so each time I had to stop and get out of the car I would pull myself together. Every time I would get back in the car the tears would start again. At some point I had to slow down because I was worried my tears would block my vision enough to make it hazardous to drive.
BUT instead of taking out my frustrations with food I went to REI. I decided to say f*ck it and went on a shopping spree. I bought two new pairs of hiking shoes (with foot support), hiking socks, and pants. I was going to need them for this summer and there was a sale going on. I took my frustrations out on my wallet. Maybe not the best decision but it was healthier than scarfing down a large pizza (which I've done before).
I came back to the top of the hill and the house decided to go out. I decided to go with them to distract myself. I luckily ran in to my favorite person at the moment and just being near him helped calm me a lot.
-------
Now a week has passed and I got a battery for my scale. I checked my weight and saw I weigh 218 lbs again. The weight I had been gaining must have subsided because I have gone down a bit. I talked about my foot pain to others and have been searching different ways of getting exercise in. The doctor suggested swimming (oh the irony!) and bicycling which I don't have access to right now but I'm working on it. I also started practicing different foot stretches and found an easy way to ice my foot. The stretches and icing are working wonderfully and my foot already feels much better.
I always said I wasn't in love with running, but being told by a doctor that I couldn't run just gave me the perspective of how much I had been using running not only as exercise but as a mental escape as well. Now that I can't run I feel a little lost. So I go for walks instead. It's not the greatest thing to do but because I don't have access to much else it's all I can do right now to at least keep myself active. I slow down when I feel my foot act up and I make sure to ice it whenever I come back from a walk or hiking with my students. I'm going to have to deal with this until my foot gets better.
In a way I'm actually a little excited now. Taking running out of the picture I now have to think of creative ways of working out and it's taking me out of my comfort zone. I have to think! I have to really see what I like and what's available for me.
I'm still very upset that my plans are ruined. But this also means I can now make new plans. I'm about to finish my job in the mountain and I'm going on a new adventure this summer. But I'm coming back to the mountain this fall, so I'm making plans of things I can do when I come back.
The point of all this is that yes, I've been struggling. I've been having a rough time. I hadn't been enjoying my weight loss journey and that has hindered my progress. I now have the opportunity to start over, REALLY start over and look at what I can do to continue to my weight loss goals.
I am still grateful for how far I've come so far. Every day I marvel at how easy it is to walk up hill compared to two years ago. I am amazed at what I've accomplished so far. I now LOVE dark chocolate, can't stand much candy, have race medals, and think something 'simple' to do is a 3 mile hike. All of this is completely NOT what I thought I could do just a few years ago.
I'm going to keep going. It's what I have to do. I can't give up. I won't. I'm here. Struggling. But I'm here.
More updates to come.
love
-w0rld
I had to take a step back and realize what had "gone wrong". I had to really think about why I wasn't happy and what I REALLY wanted to do with my health. At some point in the last 9 months I had lost momentum to keep up my weight loss streak. In those 9 months I have gained 18 lbs. I bite my nails more than ever.
Something was wrong. I had to figure it out. It wasn't easy to focus on it either since it's the end of the season with my job. I had absolutely become obsessed with a certain person and honestly my attention was elsewhere.
To top it off my right foot had continued to give me trouble and my running had stopped gradually partly because of the pain and partly because I just wasn't feeling it. When I FINALLY looked up my symptoms and then went to the doctor to get it checked I found out I have plantar fasciitis.
 |
| A sharp heel pain like walking on broken glass. |
Now I had already looked up the symptoms and I had no doubt that's what I had. Getting the doctor to say it just confirmed it. Plantar fasciitis seems to be a common injury with runners. I had read online that it would take months if not a year for it to heal and during that time I couldn't run. I was prepared to hear that from the doctor as well when I asked him;
"So I can't run. For how long? How long will it take to heal?"
His answer almost made me burst in to tears, "It's chronic."
CHRONIC. That horrible, hated, doomed, disgusting word that has made my life hell for the last 10+ years.
Chronic. The word that means that no matter what I do to try and better my health I get screwed over for LIFE.
C.H.R.O.N.I.C. The vain of my existence. The reason I have to take pills all the time. The reason I am so self conscious of showing different parts of my body (scars). The reason why I wasn't able to have regular periods. The reason why I started this life changing journey in the first place.
And hearing that news when I'm frustrated because I lost my favorite and best form of exercise (swimming) and had been trying desperately to keep the weight gain at bay when I saw I was yo-yoing back up. The only motivation I still had, the goals I had for this year (to run/walk a marathon by the end of the year) were stripped from me. The foot pain itself wasn't what broke me. It wasn't even the rude doctor. It was what it meant.
I had been working so hard to try to change my life to the healthier but the huge weight plateau I experienced, my career change, my struggles with food and now this injury that took the only type of exercise I could do without having to rely on a gym membership or any special equipment (since I live so far from any place that has a gym); add to it that it's the end of the work season, I'm tired and it was the T.O.M, by the time I said goodbye to the doctor, bought my shoe insoles at the pharmacy, and walked across the parking lot to my car I started crying.I couldn't deal with it. I broke down in the parking lot. I had other errands to do so each time I had to stop and get out of the car I would pull myself together. Every time I would get back in the car the tears would start again. At some point I had to slow down because I was worried my tears would block my vision enough to make it hazardous to drive.
BUT instead of taking out my frustrations with food I went to REI. I decided to say f*ck it and went on a shopping spree. I bought two new pairs of hiking shoes (with foot support), hiking socks, and pants. I was going to need them for this summer and there was a sale going on. I took my frustrations out on my wallet. Maybe not the best decision but it was healthier than scarfing down a large pizza (which I've done before).
I came back to the top of the hill and the house decided to go out. I decided to go with them to distract myself. I luckily ran in to my favorite person at the moment and just being near him helped calm me a lot.
-------
Now a week has passed and I got a battery for my scale. I checked my weight and saw I weigh 218 lbs again. The weight I had been gaining must have subsided because I have gone down a bit. I talked about my foot pain to others and have been searching different ways of getting exercise in. The doctor suggested swimming (oh the irony!) and bicycling which I don't have access to right now but I'm working on it. I also started practicing different foot stretches and found an easy way to ice my foot. The stretches and icing are working wonderfully and my foot already feels much better.
I always said I wasn't in love with running, but being told by a doctor that I couldn't run just gave me the perspective of how much I had been using running not only as exercise but as a mental escape as well. Now that I can't run I feel a little lost. So I go for walks instead. It's not the greatest thing to do but because I don't have access to much else it's all I can do right now to at least keep myself active. I slow down when I feel my foot act up and I make sure to ice it whenever I come back from a walk or hiking with my students. I'm going to have to deal with this until my foot gets better.
In a way I'm actually a little excited now. Taking running out of the picture I now have to think of creative ways of working out and it's taking me out of my comfort zone. I have to think! I have to really see what I like and what's available for me.
I'm still very upset that my plans are ruined. But this also means I can now make new plans. I'm about to finish my job in the mountain and I'm going on a new adventure this summer. But I'm coming back to the mountain this fall, so I'm making plans of things I can do when I come back.
 |
| Hanging out in the mountain town yesterday. |
I am still grateful for how far I've come so far. Every day I marvel at how easy it is to walk up hill compared to two years ago. I am amazed at what I've accomplished so far. I now LOVE dark chocolate, can't stand much candy, have race medals, and think something 'simple' to do is a 3 mile hike. All of this is completely NOT what I thought I could do just a few years ago.
I'm going to keep going. It's what I have to do. I can't give up. I won't. I'm here. Struggling. But I'm here.
More updates to come.
love
-w0rld
Monday, April 30, 2012
Non-Weigh In
Another Monday! My plan for this weekend was to relax. It didn't work but I can't complain. I still had a lazy week work-out wise but at least I got something done.
Measurements:
Hips: 48.25 inches (same)
Waist: 45.25 inches (+1 inch)
Arm: 14.75 inches (same)
Hips: 26 inches (same)
Calf: 16.75 (+0.25 inches)
So I pretty much stayed the same but my waist is getting bigger. I've noticed. I can tell by the way my clothes fit and how I feel. I don't like it and I think it's odd that only my middle is growing but not my hips. They usually grow and sink together. Sigh. Sometimes I just don't get it. But there it is.
Achievements:
Water
I definitely drank enough water all but Friday and Sunday. That's 5/7 days out of the week. It's getting warmer so I'm guessing I should start rising the water intake to work with the increasing need to hydrate.
Calories
I dropped the ball on starting to count calories. I didn't realize how long it had been since I last counted. I have to try again.
Strength Training
Twice last week. I also ended up getting really sore due to unexpected activity on the weekend. I definitely hadn't planned on having such a busy weekend so I over worked myself. But I like that the soreness is there (my arms thighs and butt). It means I was working my muscles whether or not I meant to. LOL
Cardio
My right heel is still in pain but it's getting TONS better. I woke up this morning and hardly had any pain. Eventually there was some pain but it's very minimal compared to the last couple of weeks. To celebrate I went on a run this morning.
A part from this morning I only ran once last week. It was a slow walk.run. I didn't really go out after that. I hate this inactivity but didn't want to risk hurting myself further. I've also been continuing my leg and foot stretches so my foot can get better.
Goals:
Now that my foot is feeling a lot better I'm really hoping to finally get back to running. I want to sign up for another 10k before June 1st. From there I'm going to be starting my summer job and I'll be moving around for a few weeks this summer. I'll have to see what work outs I can do while on the move. Hopefully I'll have access to something to keep me moving around.
A part from running I'm going to attempt calorie counting again. I want to lose enough pounds to start the summer right! I can do it!
I'll be going on a big road trip this week so I'll be out and about hiking some redwoods. I miss hiking too!
Until then!
-w0rld
Measurements:
Hips: 48.25 inches (same)
Waist: 45.25 inches (+1 inch)
Arm: 14.75 inches (same)
Hips: 26 inches (same)
Calf: 16.75 (+0.25 inches)
So I pretty much stayed the same but my waist is getting bigger. I've noticed. I can tell by the way my clothes fit and how I feel. I don't like it and I think it's odd that only my middle is growing but not my hips. They usually grow and sink together. Sigh. Sometimes I just don't get it. But there it is.
Achievements:
Water
I definitely drank enough water all but Friday and Sunday. That's 5/7 days out of the week. It's getting warmer so I'm guessing I should start rising the water intake to work with the increasing need to hydrate.
Calories
I dropped the ball on starting to count calories. I didn't realize how long it had been since I last counted. I have to try again.
Strength Training
Twice last week. I also ended up getting really sore due to unexpected activity on the weekend. I definitely hadn't planned on having such a busy weekend so I over worked myself. But I like that the soreness is there (my arms thighs and butt). It means I was working my muscles whether or not I meant to. LOL
Cardio
My right heel is still in pain but it's getting TONS better. I woke up this morning and hardly had any pain. Eventually there was some pain but it's very minimal compared to the last couple of weeks. To celebrate I went on a run this morning.
A part from this morning I only ran once last week. It was a slow walk.run. I didn't really go out after that. I hate this inactivity but didn't want to risk hurting myself further. I've also been continuing my leg and foot stretches so my foot can get better.
Goals:
Now that my foot is feeling a lot better I'm really hoping to finally get back to running. I want to sign up for another 10k before June 1st. From there I'm going to be starting my summer job and I'll be moving around for a few weeks this summer. I'll have to see what work outs I can do while on the move. Hopefully I'll have access to something to keep me moving around.
A part from running I'm going to attempt calorie counting again. I want to lose enough pounds to start the summer right! I can do it!
I'll be going on a big road trip this week so I'll be out and about hiking some redwoods. I miss hiking too!
Until then!
-w0rld
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Late Non-Weigh In
Yesterday was hectic yet not. I forgot a lot of little things throughout the day I didn't even work out. But here I am finally making up for lost time.
Measurements:
Hips: 48.25 inches (+0.25 inches)
Waist: 44.25 inches (-0.25 inches)
Arm: 14.5 inches (same)
Thigh: 26 inches (-0.5 inches)
Calf: 16.5 inches (same)
So I randomly lost 1/4 inch on my waist and it ended up transferring over to my hips. I'm ok with that, random as it is. I'm interested to find out what possibly could have lowered the measurements of my thighs but I'll take that too. LOL
Achievements:
Water
I did pretty well last week. I think i drank enough water 5/7 days. On Sunday I ended up going to a theme park with a couple of my co-workers. It was a nice sunny day and I definitely felt some symptoms of dehydration. I worked on it. LOL
Strength Training
Because I was trying my best to take it easy on my feet and legs since my right heel was still in a lot of pain I ended up doing a little more strength training than I'm used to. I ended up doing 3 days worth of easy strength training. It felt great. I need to work on it more often.
Cardio
Again, because my foot was still healing I refrained from a lot of cardio. I tried to run on Tuesday and my LEFT leg ended up cramping up like crazy. I ended up having to walk a good part of the way and slowed down considerably. I think it has to do with the fact that I've been putting more weight on my left leg since I've been limping with my right. Sigh.
Thankfully after purchasing insoles for my shoes, wearing arch supporting sandals these last few sunny days, and stretches in the morning my heel pain has gotten a lot better. It's still in pain whenever I'm idle for a while and then stand up but it's getting a lot better than last week.
I walk/jogged this afternoon, and although I did get some tightness up my left leg again it went a lot better.
Goals: My goal last week was to eat less sugar. Apart from consuming some ketchup a couple of times last week and trying my friends cheese cake I managed to stay away from the regular sugary things I usually automatically go for. I'm going to continue trying to stay away from sugar and I think I'm going to start counting calories again. For one month I'm going to attempt to focus more on strength training, water consumption and a calorie range. We'll see how this month goes.
Wish me luck!
love
-w0rld
Measurements:
Hips: 48.25 inches (+0.25 inches)
Waist: 44.25 inches (-0.25 inches)
Arm: 14.5 inches (same)
Thigh: 26 inches (-0.5 inches)
Calf: 16.5 inches (same)
So I randomly lost 1/4 inch on my waist and it ended up transferring over to my hips. I'm ok with that, random as it is. I'm interested to find out what possibly could have lowered the measurements of my thighs but I'll take that too. LOL
Achievements:
Water
I did pretty well last week. I think i drank enough water 5/7 days. On Sunday I ended up going to a theme park with a couple of my co-workers. It was a nice sunny day and I definitely felt some symptoms of dehydration. I worked on it. LOL
Strength Training
Because I was trying my best to take it easy on my feet and legs since my right heel was still in a lot of pain I ended up doing a little more strength training than I'm used to. I ended up doing 3 days worth of easy strength training. It felt great. I need to work on it more often.
Cardio
Again, because my foot was still healing I refrained from a lot of cardio. I tried to run on Tuesday and my LEFT leg ended up cramping up like crazy. I ended up having to walk a good part of the way and slowed down considerably. I think it has to do with the fact that I've been putting more weight on my left leg since I've been limping with my right. Sigh.
Thankfully after purchasing insoles for my shoes, wearing arch supporting sandals these last few sunny days, and stretches in the morning my heel pain has gotten a lot better. It's still in pain whenever I'm idle for a while and then stand up but it's getting a lot better than last week.
I walk/jogged this afternoon, and although I did get some tightness up my left leg again it went a lot better.
Goals: My goal last week was to eat less sugar. Apart from consuming some ketchup a couple of times last week and trying my friends cheese cake I managed to stay away from the regular sugary things I usually automatically go for. I'm going to continue trying to stay away from sugar and I think I'm going to start counting calories again. For one month I'm going to attempt to focus more on strength training, water consumption and a calorie range. We'll see how this month goes.
Wish me luck!
love
-w0rld
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
I never realized how many things have sugar
So yesterday I started my "stay away from sugar" regime. I messed up before breakfast...
I ended up eating a fig newton while I was making oatmeal yesterday morning. As I crumpled the wrapper it came in I suddenly realized that I wasn't supposed to eat sugar. Darn! From there I was suddenly super aware of how many things I automatically put in my mouth or my meals that contain sugar.
Throughout the day I unconsciously ate again. I ate a thin mint Girl Scout cookie when I realized someone left them for us. Before I realized what I did I was licking up the crumbs around my mouth. Darn again!
And then in the afternoon when they were giving out snacks to the kids (I usually don't eat the snacks because I don't like them unless they're granola bars.. well guess what.. that's right) I ended up swallowing an oatmeal raisin thin granola bar before I realized I had done it again. Wait, what? Oh sh** not again!
Today I went to the dining hall for breakfast. I usually get oatmeal there too. My usual process is get a serving-spoonful of oatmeal, add a BIG spoonful of brown sugar and add milk. This morning as I was getting my regular serving of oatmeal I realized that I couldn't add the sugar. So instead I opted for butter. I NEVER put butter in my oatmeal. I tried it and it was o.k. Not amazing but ok.
I also ended up getting a small serving of scrambled eggs and hash browns. I was about to reach for the ketchup when I realized again that ketchup is more sugar than tomato flavor. I was bummed because I hate the taste of generic scrambled eggs (unless there's something in the egg I don't like it) or cold hash browns. Luckily my boss brought out the salsa bottle. I had to check the ingredients of this salsa and was happily surprised that there was no sugar added! Sweet.
I added a nice dollop of salsa and finished my sugar-free breakfast.
Go me!
It's amazing how much sugar I usually eat that I don't notice. I'm glad I'm trying this. We'll see how the week goes.
love
-w0rld
I ended up eating a fig newton while I was making oatmeal yesterday morning. As I crumpled the wrapper it came in I suddenly realized that I wasn't supposed to eat sugar. Darn! From there I was suddenly super aware of how many things I automatically put in my mouth or my meals that contain sugar.
Throughout the day I unconsciously ate again. I ate a thin mint Girl Scout cookie when I realized someone left them for us. Before I realized what I did I was licking up the crumbs around my mouth. Darn again!
And then in the afternoon when they were giving out snacks to the kids (I usually don't eat the snacks because I don't like them unless they're granola bars.. well guess what.. that's right) I ended up swallowing an oatmeal raisin thin granola bar before I realized I had done it again. Wait, what? Oh sh** not again!
Today I went to the dining hall for breakfast. I usually get oatmeal there too. My usual process is get a serving-spoonful of oatmeal, add a BIG spoonful of brown sugar and add milk. This morning as I was getting my regular serving of oatmeal I realized that I couldn't add the sugar. So instead I opted for butter. I NEVER put butter in my oatmeal. I tried it and it was o.k. Not amazing but ok.
I also ended up getting a small serving of scrambled eggs and hash browns. I was about to reach for the ketchup when I realized again that ketchup is more sugar than tomato flavor. I was bummed because I hate the taste of generic scrambled eggs (unless there's something in the egg I don't like it) or cold hash browns. Luckily my boss brought out the salsa bottle. I had to check the ingredients of this salsa and was happily surprised that there was no sugar added! Sweet.
I added a nice dollop of salsa and finished my sugar-free breakfast.
Go me!
It's amazing how much sugar I usually eat that I don't notice. I'm glad I'm trying this. We'll see how the week goes.
love
-w0rld
Monday, April 16, 2012
Non-Weigh In/Back from an awesome weekend
Happy Monday.
I woke up today feeling like I didn't get much done, but then the images of last weekend came flooding back to me. I got to go to an Environmental Education conference and it was an amazing experience. I also got to walk and hike a lot just to get to where all the workshops were and can I say one thing: Contra Dancing! LOL
But before I get to what that is let's start.
Measurements:
Hips: 48 inches (same)
Waist: 44.5 inches (+1 inch)
Arm: 14.5 inches (same)
Thigh: 26.5 inches (same)
Calf: 16.5 inches (same)
So I pretty much maintained last week. The only thing I can say about the inch gained was body fluctuations. Not really sure what's up with that. I would call it weight gain but since everything stayed the same, I'm not sure if that's how it works sometimes.
Achievements:
Water
After my water bottle broke I've been working with my old 32 oz water bottle. I probably drank enough water 5/7 days this week. I know this weekend I drank a TON of water, simply because I was moving around a lot and I needed it with the weather.
Strength Training
I was able to do one day a week last week. I'm still not getting that smooth schedule.
Cardio
I managed to do a 2 mile run on Tuesday that lasted 25 minutes. A good time. On Thursday I was able to do a quick 1 mile run in 12 minutes. A friend of mine introduced me to RunKeeper.com and I downloaded their app on my iPhone. The application not only shows you your route through a GPS unit but also takes down your time, your average min/mile speed, and tells you how fast you were running each MINUTE. It's a pretty awesome app and a part from your heart rate it gives you really good over all information on your progress. I was pretty excited and I used it for both of my runs. It was fun.
From there on Friday night after registering and setting up camp at the conference there was a Contra Dancing event and my co-workers and I attended. One of my co-workers and I actually got there early and besides the band we were the only ones there. So we ended up waltzing around for a minute. We then returned after dinner and were joined by TONS of people. Now what is Contra Dancing? It's pretty much folk/line dancing. You learn the steps and then join in the group dance. It was SO MUCH FUN! You have a partner but each dance requires many different people that dance with you in lines, in circles, in diagonals. It was great dancing with a variety of people and making giant circles with over 40 people. We were dancing for 2 hours straight. It was amazing but at the same time I was in pain because my heel started hurting like crazy.
I think I'm going to have to visit a doctor about my heel because it's getting worse. I figure it's a heel spur because it usually doesn't bother me except after I've been sitting for long periods of time. After that the pain goes away after I start moving but all this weekend my heel was in pain. I need this annoying feeling to go away.
Goals: Run more. Eat less sugar. Maybe I should go on my own form of lent and ward off sugar for a month. It would be tough but I think I need it to work on my sugar addiction. It isn't getting any better. A part from that be more conscious of my portions. That's what I'll focus on this week.
I woke up today feeling like I didn't get much done, but then the images of last weekend came flooding back to me. I got to go to an Environmental Education conference and it was an amazing experience. I also got to walk and hike a lot just to get to where all the workshops were and can I say one thing: Contra Dancing! LOL
But before I get to what that is let's start.
Measurements:
Hips: 48 inches (same)
Waist: 44.5 inches (+1 inch)
Arm: 14.5 inches (same)
Thigh: 26.5 inches (same)
Calf: 16.5 inches (same)
So I pretty much maintained last week. The only thing I can say about the inch gained was body fluctuations. Not really sure what's up with that. I would call it weight gain but since everything stayed the same, I'm not sure if that's how it works sometimes.
Achievements:
Water
After my water bottle broke I've been working with my old 32 oz water bottle. I probably drank enough water 5/7 days this week. I know this weekend I drank a TON of water, simply because I was moving around a lot and I needed it with the weather.
Strength Training
I was able to do one day a week last week. I'm still not getting that smooth schedule.
Cardio
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| The app looks like this. No this wasn't my time. LOL |
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| Something like this. Even the auditorium looked like this. LOL |
I think I'm going to have to visit a doctor about my heel because it's getting worse. I figure it's a heel spur because it usually doesn't bother me except after I've been sitting for long periods of time. After that the pain goes away after I start moving but all this weekend my heel was in pain. I need this annoying feeling to go away.
Goals: Run more. Eat less sugar. Maybe I should go on my own form of lent and ward off sugar for a month. It would be tough but I think I need it to work on my sugar addiction. It isn't getting any better. A part from that be more conscious of my portions. That's what I'll focus on this week.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Today I Wished I Were Heavier
So I work as a Teacher Naturalist at an outdoor school, which means that kids from nearby school districts come up for a few days a week and we teach them different outdoor classes. Things from Geology to Canoeing etc.
Today my schedule was belaying; which means the kids are going rock climbing and I'm in charge of the safety rope that keeps them up there as they climb.
One of the students I had was this gorgeous 12 year old girl that was as tall as me and probably as big as me if not a little more.
I always ask each student what they're goal is, "How far up this rock do you want to go?" and usually I add "Have you rock climbed before." This girl was confident. She had rock climbed before using climbing walls at a theme park.
I was excited to have her climb since bigger kids generally have a harder time climbing period. She tried, and she tried and she tried. She got a little more than a foot off the ground but she wasn't able to continue.
Every time she would slip she pulled me toward the wall with her. It's very rare for this to happen since I'm a bigger person, and kids are usually smaller than me, even if a kid were to let go of the wall completely they would usually just hang there.
This time I couldn't keep my ground. Anytime she would let go off the wall I almost got lifted off the ground. The whole time I kept thinking
"If only I were heavier than her."
"If only I were heavy like an anchor."
"If only my arms were stronger I can help pull her up."
Usually small scrawny kids can easily climb up the rock and we can pull them up to help if we needed to. This time I couldn't. And it killed me. This was a girl that was only a little girl in a big body. I could tell she was self conscious and it just isn't fair to have those problems. She wasn't even fat. She was just tall and curvy. She's the type of girl that develops early. I should know, I was one of them. Lol.
Later after class, I walked everyone back and I thought about how the whole time I was with this girl I had actually wished I were HEAVIER. I never thought I would actually wish for something like that.
Sigh. I hope that this experience didn't hinder this girls spirit. I made sure to encourage her and to talk to her after she stopped climbing explaining how getting up the wall wasn't the point, it was the effort she put and how hard she tried. She seemed unfazed. I only hope that strong face was genuine.
Does this mean I'm planning on gaining weight? NO. But it does reiterate the point that I need to get stronger.
I hate how weak I can be.
I'm sorry little girl. I'm sorry I couldn't help you. I'm sorry I couldn't be your anchor. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough.
...
-w0rld
Today my schedule was belaying; which means the kids are going rock climbing and I'm in charge of the safety rope that keeps them up there as they climb.
One of the students I had was this gorgeous 12 year old girl that was as tall as me and probably as big as me if not a little more.
I always ask each student what they're goal is, "How far up this rock do you want to go?" and usually I add "Have you rock climbed before." This girl was confident. She had rock climbed before using climbing walls at a theme park.
I was excited to have her climb since bigger kids generally have a harder time climbing period. She tried, and she tried and she tried. She got a little more than a foot off the ground but she wasn't able to continue.
 |
| So I would be the one with the white shirt, the kids the climber. |
This time I couldn't keep my ground. Anytime she would let go off the wall I almost got lifted off the ground. The whole time I kept thinking
"If only I were heavier than her."
"If only I were heavy like an anchor."
"If only my arms were stronger I can help pull her up."
Usually small scrawny kids can easily climb up the rock and we can pull them up to help if we needed to. This time I couldn't. And it killed me. This was a girl that was only a little girl in a big body. I could tell she was self conscious and it just isn't fair to have those problems. She wasn't even fat. She was just tall and curvy. She's the type of girl that develops early. I should know, I was one of them. Lol.
Later after class, I walked everyone back and I thought about how the whole time I was with this girl I had actually wished I were HEAVIER. I never thought I would actually wish for something like that.
Sigh. I hope that this experience didn't hinder this girls spirit. I made sure to encourage her and to talk to her after she stopped climbing explaining how getting up the wall wasn't the point, it was the effort she put and how hard she tried. She seemed unfazed. I only hope that strong face was genuine.
Does this mean I'm planning on gaining weight? NO. But it does reiterate the point that I need to get stronger.
I hate how weak I can be.
I'm sorry little girl. I'm sorry I couldn't help you. I'm sorry I couldn't be your anchor. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough.
...
-w0rld
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