Weigh In: Even Optimists need a Break

Let's start out by saying I am NOT in a good mood this morning. This mornings weigh in, my lack of sleep, and personal little annoyances have teamed up to put me in a slightly foul mood this morning. I apologize and warn before I even start. But let's get to it!


Current Weight: 199.4 lbs (+0.6 lbs from last week and -0 lbs from the start of July)

Work Out Achievement(s): I'm not going to lie here. I almost burst in to tears this morning when I saw this number. Frustration over a non-moving scale (and yes I know there's more to it than a number on the scale. Yes I know I should look at my work out achievements and how far I've come. Yes I know that I should look at how I feel and how well my clothes look. etc etc etc), especially after how sore I've been, and how hard -- at least I thought it was hard-- I worked this week. It felt like it was all for nothing.

Then I start thinking more. That extra helping of trailmix. The holiday weekend drinks. Those fries, the lack of sleep, and a new work schedule. Little regrets that are keeping me from moving forward from my weight loss goals.

I'm so tired of not seeing results. You can only keep positive so far in the face of obstacles until you need a break. A bit of results to keep you going. I'm not getting that and I'm tired.

I'm tired of staying hopeful. Of keeping myself motivated with little pep talks. Of working out when I'm already so tired.

I went out dancing last night (three nights in a row actually) and walking back at one o' clock in the morning I realized I hadn't done my core work outs. What did I do, but put on my pj's drop to the floor and do 150 crunches before bed.

Or two days earlier when I woke up late and didn't get a jog in. The hike later that day wasn't enough of a work out so at the end of the day, after work, after a steep hike, and before dinner, I grab my running shoes and jog 2 miles.

I did it.

Not because I wanted to. Or because I like it. Or because I'm looking for praise. I did it because I had to. I did it because there's no way I'm going to allow myself to become the lazy, fat, depressed person I was before "w0rld's FAT blog."

I did it because I hated who I was before and in the end it's easier to just grit my teeth and do it than regret it when I'm 50 lbs heavier and being told by a doctor that I have diabetes, or heart disease, or ruined knees.

I did it for me. Yet, it would be nice to see some results for my efforts.

Is that too much to ask?

Goal(s): I can't wait until this holiday weekend is over and I can return to some sort of healthy routine. As I've mentioned before I'm not much of a drinker, and although I don't partake of all the booze and festivities it'll be nice when I don't have to look at endless beer cans, whiskey, vodka and tequila bottles scattered all around me.

My goal for this week is to go on a long hike at least once. Go swimming again at least once. Stay away from greasy food and prepare all my meals this week.

I think it's definitely do-able.

Have a great 4th of July and please excuse my ranting post.

tired yet determined,
-w0rld