I got to weigh myself at the gym on Tuesday and had a happy surprise. However I don't want to get my hopes too high until my next official weigh in on Monday. Still, I've been feeling so up and happy that..... I've eaten a ton.
What is up with that?!
You work your butt off, you diet, you lose weight, you gain some confidence and happiness, then you celebrate by stuffing yourself... That doesn't make any sense!
Yet here I am. Last night I ate double helpings both at breakfast and dinner. My sister made brownies (after I've asked her to stop time and time again, but what are you going to do with a skinny, emotional fast-as-a-gerbil-metabolism girl that can eat all she wants, never gains a pound and her way of 'supporting' me is to scream "Stop Eating!" whenever I'm near the kitchen as she's stuffing herself with chocolate) and of course I ate some. With ice cream. *sigh, shakes head*
I felt stuffed by the end of the night. It was an uncomfortable feeling and I was sad to notice that it was a feeling I would feel daily just a few weeks ago. It surprised me how quickly I can incorporate new habits.... and of course how much more quickly I can ruin those good habits and go back to the bad.
It's time to get back on track. I'm going to be going back to the field in a month and I can't wait! (for those of you that don't know it I've been working in the Mojave Desert for the last three Springs or so, working with wildlife and trapping squirrels. Fun right? Well it is. I love it, miss it, wish I could do it more often, and can't have enough of the scenery I get to see every day while I'm out there.)
This is me in the Mojave last year (2009) with my 'field' look. I need a new hat.
One thing that's keeping me motivated and is helping me keep a moderate level of confidence in myself is my pal P!NK. I love her music. I can relate to so many things she sings about, and although her and I are very different people I like to think that inside we have the same view in life. LOL. Most of the time the songs I like to listen to are fast and fun , something sharp I can scream 'Exactly! This is what I'm talking about!' but lately I'm surprised I'm hooked on a more smooth and slower with a lot of meaning and emotion:
This song is blasting in my car's radio right now.
So my point to it all is that I'm going to move my hunger for food, to hunger for life!
Who's with me!