I've slowly been noticing that my dedication to this blog, to my goals, and my fellow bloggers has been waning. I can't say that I've been incredibly busy or stressed. My distractions and procrastination has been slowly creeping up on me.
I don't want that to happen. This blog and the community I've found either in blogger or outside of it has helped me so tremendously. And yet I feel like I haven't given back. I haven't contributed. I've let people down. I don't update as often as I should, or as often as I promise.
I am not the kind of person who flakes too often on their promises. And if I do I try my hardest to redeem myself.
This isn't to say that I've given up or the blog is no longer useful. It simply means that the honey moon "oh wow look at the numbers on the scale fall and people love me!" phase is over and the real, hard truth about what it takes to lose weight is really here.
It's all mental. It's all in my head and it all depends on me. So my frustration at having food lying around the kitchen, or people baking wonderful eateries and then leaving them for everyone else to eat, or bringing a ton of sweets in the house constantly.. is not their fault. No one is FORCING me to eat them. It is up to ME to resist temptation. It is up to ME to say no. It is up to ME to choose the portion sizes. No one else but me.
I am my own worst enemy.
This week wasn't perfect. I'll check in on the (lack of) progress tomorrow on my "Non-Weigh In". In the meantime I'll stop complaining and making excuses for myself and my actions. Things can be really simple and don't have to be this hard.
It is not hard. It can be fun. It can be exciting. It all depends on how I consider this journey to be. Is it a chore or an adventure?
I choose adventure. I choose it to be a fun challenge to see how well I can eat at a fixed calorie budget. I choose what kind of activities and work outs I do and where they take me. I choose.
I choose to continue. I choose to try harder. I choose not to give up. I choose NOT to accept the person I see in the mirror now because I KNOW I can be better than this!
I need to stop being afraid of..... everything! I need to do this for me.
One day at a time.
I can do this. No more waning. I am here.